15 Fears People Have About Being Single

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15 Fears People Have About Being Single

As we get older the thought of being alone can be terrifying. Being in a relationship is idealized and romanticized. Even in today’s society being in a relationship is by the majority thought to be “normal”. Choosing to be single is thought to be “abnormal”. Obviously, there are other concerns like the financial burden of not having a shared income. Therefore, some people would rather be in miserable relationships than be alone.

There are so many positives of single life, that fear can make people overlook. Don’t let the fear of being “alone” keep you trapped in a bad relationship, or continually settling for less just to be with someone. Being in my mid 30’s, I was terrified at the thought of being alone, until I let myself be alone. Choosing to be single is the most liberating thing I have ever done.

Here are 15 fears people have about being single:

 

  1. not having validation – You are not defined by your relationship with others or lack there of.
  2. not being happy – Being in a relationship DOES NOT ALWAYS mean happiness. You CAN NOT depend on another person for your happiness. You must learn to make yourself happy.
  3. Not having sex again – Well, i’ll be honest this one still worries me a bit. but let’s be honest we can have great safe sex being single. And who knows singles might be having more sex than those in relationships.
  4. not being loved – The love you can give yourself is stronger and more pure than the love anyone else can offer (except maybe your dog).
  5. not being whole – You are whole on your own. You are not broken or missing half of yourself. There is no on out there who is going to complete you. You need to be able to complete yourself.
  6. being lonely – You don’t have to be lonely. First of all you will learn to love spending time with you. Most importantly, I have been more lonely when I was in certain relationships then I ever have being single.
  7. family and FRIEND pressure – Although family and friends might harp on the fact that you are single, they are not doing it to be hurtful. Now, that doesn’t mean that it is pleasant, or it doesn’t get annoying or hurt. But, you can not let it affect you as much. Ignore it! You know how happy and amazing you are! Odds are some of them are actually jealous of your singledom!
  8. Having to watch every last person in your life get married and have kids – this can be tough at times. It can also be liberating. I literally have watched everyone in my life get married and have kids. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it hurts a little. But, I can book a flight anywhere I want at the drop of a dime and visit somewhere I have never been. Believe me I do it often!
  9. companionship – The only companionship you need is your own.
  10. being unable to take care of yourself – You will not be unable to take care of yourself. In fact, you will be able to be your main priority.
  11. having a partner to offer you the world – You don’t need anyone to offer you the world. You can give that to yourself. (This is probably one of my favorite)
  12. having to go through tough times and illness alone – You will not have to go through the tough times or being ill alone. One of my best friends is also single and through tough times and illness neither of us have ever been alone. Friends and family will always be by your side. I have had to be put to sleep for a couple of procedures and my sister was there when I was done each time.
  13.  just being single – Being single for an extended period of time will give you a strength and freedom you never thought you were capable of.
  14.  dying alone – You can be married for 50 years and still die alone. You can be single with no children and die surrounded by those you love. The thought of dying alone used to plague me. Now I understand I have the most amazing friends and family (no bias here) who would never let that happen.
  15. running out of time to meet someone – Don’t be afraid that you are running out of time. Societal time frames are archaic and outdated. We all live longer. Women have careers to focus on now. If you don’t want to stay single forever, that’s OK. This isn’t a race! Take your time to do you and IF you want look for love when you are ready.

Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. Society tries to impose that we need a significant other to feel complete. These fears are completely natural, but don’r let them consume you. Leaving a relationship can be extremely difficult, especially because many times we get comfortable. Choose to  make yourself happy and focus on your own needs rather than on someone else’s.

Check out 20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/20-dates-to-take-yourself-on-when-you-are-single/

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

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Until next time….

4 thoughts on “15 Fears People Have About Being Single

  1. I love this post ! I remember a few years ago people told me I was weird for staying single for so long . It was so much pressure having a boyfriend. I got into a realtionship and I was so unhappy . After I got out of that bad realtionship I have been single since. It has been 3 years since I’ve been in a realtionship. I don’t care what anybody says I am not changing that until I’m ready . Relationships are a lot of work. I use to care what people thought but now I don’t. People tell me my standards are too high and I probably won’t find anyone. I know that’s not true and I’m cool with being alone. I rather be happy than to be uhappy with someone else . I love this post . I think a lot of people need to see this because a lot of people are with people just because they fear being alone.

  2. I love this post! It really hit home hard. I’m 19 and I don’t want to be single but I feel like If I jump into a relationship with someone I am settling, but i’m scared that i’ll never meet anyone!

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