BEGIN LOVING YOURSELF. A heart with the word love on top of an open journal

HOW TO BEGIN LOVING YOURSELF 5 EASY STEPS

BEGIN LOVING YOURSELF. A heart with the word love on top of an open journal
Like anything worthwhile in life, learning to love yourself will take work. Self-love is not a switch that can be turned on and off. It took me time, effort, and dedication to learn to love myself. Everyone has their own baggage, so there is no cookie cutter answer for everyone. I can only share what I have experienced and what has worked for me. With this in mind, hopefully my experience will help you to begin loving yourself too. So, let’s see how to begin loving yourself 5 easy steps.

Learning to love yourself, the first part of that is LEARNING. So the only way to learn is to have a teacher, a guide, or something to help show you the way. Everyone needs help, we just need to be brave enough to let our guard down to accept it.

THERAPY:
  •   Therapy – The first step I had to take to learning to love myself was going to therapy. This is much scarier and more difficult than one would think. I am an expert at keeping up my defenses. So I had to grit my teeth, make an appointment, and my journey began. Therapy was essentially my first step onto the journey of learning to love myself. Due to the stigma attached to therapy, this might make some uncomfortable. There is no shame in therapy whatsoever.
    In addition to talking to my therapist and learning from her, she referred several books to me. These books changed my life. Not only did they help me to love myself, but helped me to improve relationships I had with my family.
SELF-HELP BOOKS:
  •  The Four Agreements: A Practical Guide to Personal Freedom – Although it was a little difficult to get into in the very beginning, it really helped me in my outlook and relationships with those around me.

  •  The 5 Love Languages: The Secret to Love that Lasts – This is not just a book for those in relationships or trying to be in a relationship. Absolutely wonderful book.

  •  You Are a Badass: How to Stop Doubting Your Greatness and Start Living an Awesome Life – The title alone is empowering and got my attention. Great read.

WRITING/JOURNALING:
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  • Journal – I am a firm believer in journaling. Writing about things I am grateful for, goals that I have, things that I have accomplished, and experiences that I have gone through help me to better appreciate my life and myself. This helps me to feel grateful, proud of myself, and work through certain issues I have with things I have gone through. Journaling will absolutely help you in the process to love yourself.
AFFIRMATIONS:
  • Affirmations – Sigh, eye roll. Yes, I said it, affirmations. I used to hate when people would tell me this. One day I got a wild hair to really work on being more positive and changing my life. When getting ready in the morning and before going to bed at night, I began listening to positive affirmations. You know what? I started to see a difference in my attitude and my life. You can find FREE affirmation videos to listen to on YouTube. This is one of my favorite morning affirmations to listen to on YouTube https://youtu.be/XiMguQXX-q0
    SELF-CARE:
Self-care – Self-care is especially important. I started to really pay attention to how I was taking care of myself and realized I was seriously lacking. We give 100% to our friends, family, career, etc. How much do we give to ourselves? I realized that in order to truly love myself, I had to take care of myself. That means something different to each of us. To me, that meant making an effort to take my makeup off every night, wash my face, and use moisturizer. I put serum on my eyelashes. Walking every morning and trying to work out on my lunch breaks are now a part of my regular routine. In addition to that, I try to get enough sleep. It is all a matter of finding out what it means for you.

We put time, energy, and money into so many things. We will spend money and time on maintaining our homes, our vehicles, our family, and more. Yet, why is it so difficult for us to spend time and money to better ourselves? We are happy to spend money on those we love, but not on the journey to love ourselves. Above all you are important enough to invest in! The journey to being able to fully love yourself will take time, money, and sometimes make you take a long hard look at things you might not want to. Once you do, you will never forget it! Check out Fabulously Single on Facebook to get more tips on self-love and how to love being single! https://www.facebook.com/fabulouslysinglelife/

Hopefully How To Begin Loving Yourself 5 Easy Steps has inspired you to begin your journey of self love. If it has, check out my blog Self Love http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/self-love/

Until next time…

Chicago Buildings THINGS TO KNOW WHEN TRAVELING TO CHICAGO

THINGS TO KNOW WHEN TRAVELING TO CHICAGO

Chicago often times gets a bad rap for crime, big city, etc. Well let me tell you, I just came back from four days in downtown Chicago and it was one of the best trips I have ever taken. Don’t get me wrong there are some imperfect things there, just like anywhere you will go. Chicago is rich in history and architecture. When you are walking downtown it is easy to be mesmerized by the sights, sounds, and smells.

Things to Know When Traveling to Chicago

There is so much to do there, if you are only going for a few days it will be difficult to take it all in. I would definitely have a plan for each day to maximize your time in Chicago. Research is key! I wasted considerable time, by visiting several attractions twice. I scheduled a food tour for my second day there, and did not know that in addition to the food tour, we would also go to Millennium Park, visit the bean really named Cloud Gate, and more. It is imperative to find out the time, location, and what exactly will be included in each tour. Most noteworthy opening and closing times for attractions must also be taken into account. Because many of the attractions close by 4:00 pm, making it difficult to see everything. Here are a few of the attractions that close early.

Attractions That Close By 4:00 pm

* ADLER PLANETARIUM closes at 4:00 pm.
* SHED AQUARIUM closes at 5:00 pm M-F closes at 6:00 pm SAT- SUN
* ART INSTITUTE OF CHICAGO closes at 5:00 pm every day except Thursday, they close at 8:00 pm
* FIELD MUSEUM OF NATURAL HISTORY closes daily at 5:00 pm
* LINCOLN PARK ZOO closes daily at 4:30

There are several attractions and tours I wouldn’t miss!

* Famous Tastes of Chicago Food Tour – This can be booked on TripAdvisor. It is a walking tour. The tour begins at Pizano’s Pizza. It included the Berghoff (German restaurant), Fannie May (chocolate shop), and a few more. We also went to Millennial Park, the Palmer House Hotel, and other historical buildings including the Chicago Cultural Center. I absolutely loved this tour and had a wonderful tour guide!

* Chicago Architecture River Cruise – This was another of my favorite experiences while in Chicago. There are two possible departure points when booking this tour. We departed from Navy Pier, which saved me a trip, as I was able to see both. This river ride takes you on a trip though the history and architecture of the city. There is live narration by the tour guide. There is a bar on board. I was extremely fortunate, as my trip was during St. Patrick’s Day weekend, so the river was green for part of our cruise. Chicago dyes the river green every year for St. Patrick’s Day. On this tour you will be able to take some marvelous pictures!

* SHED AQUARIUM – If you love animals you do not want to miss this. Stop by my Facebook page to see the photos. You will be able to see live shows, 4-D shows, touch live star fish, see dolphins, beluga whales, and so much more!

* Millennium Park – You will be able to enjoy this attraction for FREE! This is home of Cloud Gate (better known as The Bean). There are also art exhibitions there that are free. I saw Chakaia Booker Exhibition when I was there. There is so much to see here.

* Chicago Helicopter Tour Nighttime Experience – This is a more expensive adventure. Flying over the city at night viewing the city illuminated by lights is unreal. The tour lasts about 20 minutes. I loved my tour!

* 360 Chicago – This building formally knows as The John Hancock Building offers a breathtaking 360 degree view of Lake Michigan, the skyline, and the city itself. You can also purchase a ticket to walk into a glass “box” and be tilted out over the city.

***FREE THINGS TO DO IN CHICAGO
* Lincoln Park Zoo
*Chicago Cultural Center
* Navy Pier
* Chicago Botanical Garden
* Grant Park
* Millennium Park
Obviously many of the attractions you are going to want to see are not free. I strongly suggest getting a City Pass. You can order the City Pass on TripAdvisor. You will exchange your voucher at your first attraction accepting the City Pass for a City Pass book. DO NOT RIP OUT ANY OF THE TICKETS BECAUSE THAT WILL VOID THEM. LET THE EMPLOYEES AT THE ATTRACTIONS DO THIS. Attractions included are as follows:

 Shedd Aquarium
The Field Museum
Skydeck Chicago
Choice ticket: Admission to 360 Chicago (formerly John Hancock Observatory) OR Museum of Science and Industry
Choice ticket: Admission to Adler Planetarium OR Art Institute of Chicago (includes audio tour)
The City Pass will also give you discounts for shopping at the attractions.

THINGS NOT TO DO:
*Tommy Gun’s Garage Dinner and Show – I found this to be boring and time-consuming. The food was not very good at all. You cannot leave until the end of the show. The servers are all in the show so you can only get service at certain times. The staff aggressively tries to sell you things for a good part of the night. This is also interactive and you have no choice whether or not to participate once they choose you. This is definitely a PASS!
*The Hop on Hop Off Tour/Bus – I purchased a ticket and never used it. Many of the places you can walk to and others you can Uber to or take the subway.

THINGS TO KNOW WHEN TRAVELING TO CHICAGO
* Wear comfortable shoes!! There is no way to avoid walking and you will be doing plenty of it.
* They call it the Windy City for a reason. Check the weather and dress accordingly.
* Utilize the option to share rides when using Uber there and you will save a decent amount of money and not waste much time at all. When using Uber be careful because they will not always pick you up on the side of the road you are waiting on. Also, the GPS can be finicky there so your auto location is not always accurate. If taking a Uber to the airport know that they don’t always send a vehicle with the ability to accommodate your luggage. If you have to cancel the ride for that they will try to charge you a $5 fee for the “driver’s inconvenience”.
* Maps Apps – These to can be finicky and will redirect you many times. I found it worth the time though. I walked the entire city.
* When shopping on Michigan Ave or the Magnificent Mile buyer beware. You will be charged 2%-3% more in taxes.

**MUST TRY FOODS –
* Pizza – Duh, but did you know that not only does Chicago make a mean deep dish pizza, but they also have a delicious thin crust? Try both!
* Chicago beef – often offered with sweet or hot peppers and either dipped, partially dipped, or not dipped. This means the sandwich will be dunked in the au jus.
* Chicago hot dog – common Chicago Style – yellow mustard, chopped onions, relish, pickle spear (dill), peppers, sliced tomato, and celery salt. Most places not only do not offer ketchup, but do not carry ketchup.
* This one might sound gross, I sure thought it did. Once I tasted it I was addicted. Caramel and Cheddar popcorn. You have to go to Garrett’s for this, it is the best!

** RESTAURANTS TO TRY
* Pizano’s Pizza & Pasta
* Volare Restaurant – Italian
* Rosebud – Italian and has more than one location
* Berghoff’s

Do not be shocked by the prices, the food is very expensive. The prices go down if you are off of The Magnificent Mile.
Chicago is abundant in culture, history, architecture, wonderful food, and art. It is easy to fall in love with the city. Research and planning are the key to getting to see as much as you can in a short time. There are many things to know when traveling to Chicago check out the link below for more information.

https://www.choosechicago.com/things-to-do/attractions-and-tours/

Until next time…

Nothing wrong with being single

Nothing Wrong With Being Single

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Nothing Wrong With Being Single

How very peculiar is it that in this day and age being single is such an outrage. A person is considered to be more “normal” and socially accepted if they are in a relationship or married, even if it is not a healthy relationship. I created this blog because I love being single, The freedom that comes with being single is unparalleled. Never in my life have I been happier then I am in this moment. I truly believe that one has to take time to get to know themselves, find out who they truly are, and what it is that they want in life before they can ever be in a happy healthy relationship. The only thing I am committed to right now is bettering myself. There is nothing wrong with being single.
I’ve been going to the same nail salon for many years. They have seen me with an ex-boyfriend for many years. However, now that I have been single for over a year they ask me continuously, do you have a boyfriend? Are you looking? Because I have taken no interest in dating the gentleman doing my nails today actually asked me are you looking for a girlfriend? Are you gay? Isn’t it funny that because I am a woman in my mid 30’s who is not looking for relationship the automatic assumption is that either I am gay or there is something wrong with me? It is beyond people’s comprehension that a woman can just actually be happy being single.
I created a Twitter account to promote my blog along with a page on Facebook, Fabulously Single. I have received private messages on both from men attempting to engage me in conversation beyond the scope of my blog and beyond the scope of friendship. Isn’t it funny that my blog is mainly about being single and the journey to find myself, yet people continue to try to contact me to either get with me or start a relationship?
The reason I find this funny it’s because I’m obviously happy where I am and in no way, shape, or form interested in a relationship or hooking up with strangers. It makes me feel that these men think I am either not truly happy being single or would like nothing more than to find a relationship. That single women will drop what they are doing at even the hint of opportunity for a relationship or random sex. Well sorry to disappoint you guys, I am happy being single, and I can pleasure myself without your help.
Now this is a new notion for me, as I was a serial dater for a very long time. I hated being single. Being single was embarrassing to me. A relationship made me feel validated. It took me a very long time to come to the realization that this was crap! I am a complete person, who does not need a relationship to validate me.
Until we can complete ourselves we can never truly be in a healthy relationship. Society trains us that we need to look for somebody else to complete us, I completely disagree. We cannot be anybody else’s complete happiness, just as nobody else can be our complete happiness. We need to learn to love ourselves, instead of the idea of others loving us. Being single does not mean broken, actively looking, gay, straight, or anything else. The stigma of being single is alive and kicking. It can get overwhelmingly annoying at times. Although people’s attitudes perplex me, I continue to find the humor in these situations. Being single doesn’t always mean being lonely, just as being in a relationship doesn’t always mean being happy. Nothing wrong with being single is something we must remind ourselves of.
I am single. Don’t pity me. I am single by choice. I am not lonely. I am done settling. I am done being a chameleon to be in a relationship. I am done dating shitty people. Now I have grown, I know what I want and what I deserve. I am on a journey to continue to find and create myself. When I am ready for a relationship I will not mind waiting for the right one. It is better to be single with standards than in a relationship settling for less. There is nothing wrong with being single.
Come check out Single isn’t a dirty word: misconceptions of single life. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/single-isnt-a-dirty-word-misconceptions-of-single-life/

 

Until next time….

A bad singles moment

A BAD SINGLES MOMENT


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You’re standing there enjoying yourself at a concert enjoying a cool night with good music. Then the main act calls a man on stage, followed by that man’s girlfriend, and all of a sudden the man drops to his knees in front of the crowd… and you know it is about to be A BAD SINGLES MOMENT.

The entire crowd grows silent, everybody’s eyes tear up, and you’re just standing there (imaginary eye roll) going God can it be over. He continues to go over a litany of romantic things along with everything that he loves about her and then the singles moment gets even worse… He brings up her dead father at this point there’s not a dry eye in the house. (Any member of the Dead Dad’s Club will totally understand that at this moment you are trying not to cry and there is a pit in your stomach). You can feel your face start to grow warm and you just want the ground to swallow you whole. You can almost feel the pity stares directed your way. Although you are OK with being single, and pretty confident most of the time, it is moments like this that can take the wind out of your sails. Now there are definitely those people who will bore holes into you with their stares in moments like this, however how much of this is in our heads?

Being single most certainly carries a stigma with it, even in today’s day and age. That stigma, judgment, and constant pressure to rectify “the situation” in my opinion is worse for us women. You know our eggs are drying up, we won’t be able to have children and if we do they will probably be special needs, who is going to want to marry a spinster, yada, yada, yada. So, what do you do? I stare blankly ahead, making sure to show no emotion on my face. I patiently wait for this BAD SINGLES MOMENT to be over.
While this BAD SINGLES MOMENT doesn’t quite rank up there with being pushed onto the middle of a dance floor to try to catch the bouquet you really don’t want, it is still uncomfortable. We singles have many awkward moments, but it is all in how we handle it. So be mad, shut down, cry, do whatever you need to – just for a minute. Then bring on the dark quirky sense of humor and laugh. This is just a moment. Most of the time we revel in our singleness, enjoy it, love our freedom. This is just a BAD SINGLES MOMENT, this too shall pass.

Self Love

Self Love – Work To Love Yourself

What I Have Learned Being Single

Self love. Self love is something everyone talks about in today’s society, something that is promoted and desperately sought after. How many of us really deep down love ourselves and aren’t afraid to say it out loud? My own self-love is something I battle with constantly. I have been working on it regularly. I listen to daily affirmations every morning while getting ready, I stretch, workout, try my hardest to take care of myself, yet it still isn’t enough. So I did some research and bought a few books. I try to read a little bit each day. I bought the 21 day self-love challenge and I love it! The author starts out bluntly and sarcastically, which is right up my alley. I am still reading it, there is a lesson (only a page or so for each day). It really made me smile and start to change my attitude so I had to share it. I hope you love it as much as I do!

 

If you are interested in more great information on self love, come check out my blog: http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/how-to-begin-loving-yourself-5-easy-steps/