Single Stigma Misconceptions of Single Life

Single Isn’t a Dirty Word: Misconceptions of Single Life


Anyone who has been single for a while (especially those who are in their 30’s +) know there are some ridiculous misconceptions of single life out there. Granted I cannot speak for all singles, but I’m going to give it a shot. Single isn’t a dirty word, and no there is nothing wrong with singledom. So, let’s debunk these misconceptions of single life.

*All single people are not bitter/unhappy, and/or angry, nor are they hating on couples. Now don’t get me wrong every once in a while, I will look at a couple in love holding hands and get a twinge in my heart. However, I think that couples who have been together for a long time or have been married for a long time do the same. There is no ill will against all couples.

*Irresponsibility and just not being ready to settle down is another misconception that I personally find offensive. On my last trip to Washington DC, I actually had an Uber driver tell me when I am ready for responsibility and to settle down, I will find someone. Many single people actually have more responsibility because everything falls on their shoulders. There is no one to share the responsibility and help out.

*If you have hit a certain age or have been single for to long, you are just “to picky” air quotes, eye roll. Not lowering your standards in order to desperately be part of a “whole” does not make you to picky. My new answer is going to be: you’re right…I’m going to marry the next man that looks at me.

*Singles are at home lonely, depressed, and crying every night. Everyone is different, but I am so busy living that most times I wish I had alone time. I spend time with my family, nieces and nephew (who are AMAZING), my friends, and my baby (dog) Echo. When I am not doing that I am managing a large successful company or traveling the world.

*One of the largest misconceptions is that singles are broken or there is something wrong with them. We are not damaged goods. We are human. People who are where we are in life for many different reasons. I do think that many singles at sometime or another feel this way about themselves. It is just not true.

*Singles are having more sex. Unfortunately, this one is also not true. Not all single people are out there having wild crazy sex with anyone and everyone. (Some of us might wish this one were true).

*Lastly, be weary of the singles, they are competition and have their eye on your significant other. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we are not sitting on the sidelines trying to steal your partner. Believe me, you are more aware of our singleness then we are.

Most single people are not angry and unhappy. Taking the time to fall in love with yourself is a good thing, do it. The old adage hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil is appropriate here. Do not listen to the negativity about single life. Do not look at any of the articles, posts, and everything else out there to make you feel damaged for being single. If you are not single and you find yourself saying things that might be hurtful to someone who is single don’t say it. The misconceptions of single life are outlandish and can be hurtful. Take it with a grain of salt and keep smiling.

https://www.zazzle.com/z/gh4js?rf=238644605164355568

Until next time…

What I have learned being single

What I Have Learned Being Single

This is the first time in my life that I have really been single. When it comes to relationships, I have bounced around like the ball in a pinball machine. Bouncing along from one relationship to another. This began at the early age of 15. I never took the time to live, to discover, or to establish myself. Sharing what I have learned being single will hopefully inspire others.

My second to last relationship should have been my grand finale. When I finally got out of that relationship, there was literally nothing left of me. I’m stubborn, so I jumped into one last relationship. Shame on me. I had no business being with anyone but myself. I was expecting miracles from my last boyfriend. How could he ever love me, when I didn’t even love myself? Being that I never took the time to figure out who I was, how could I love myself?

I have now been single for almost a year and a half. This is what I have learned since being single:
* I am funny.
* I am strong.
* I am independent.
* I love to cook…and I’m good at it.
* I love to travel.
* I NEED to practice self-care.
* I enjoy running.
* I HATE metal music.
* My opinion matters.
* My family will always be there, and no relationship should change that.
* I have the best ride or die friends.
* I can take care of myself.
* I shouldn’t have to take care of someone else.
* I can live without sex.
* Being in a relationship should never change who you are.
* Your validation as a person doesn’t come from being in a relationship.
* I don’t want to die not having had lived.

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Finally having given myself time, I have a good I idea of who I am. By no means do I want to be in another relationship right now. Truly, I am enjoying my freedom, which I have never had before. As a matter of fact, I am not ready for this journey of self discovery to end. This is what I have learned being single, in a relatively short period of time. I am excited to see what I will learn as my journey continues. Never stay in a bad or unhealthy relationship because you are scared to start over. You can chose the life you are going to live. This video inspired me on my journey, hopefully it will inspire you too. 

Until next time…