15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

As we get older the thought of being alone can be terrifying. Being in a relationship is idealized and romanticized. Even in today’s society being in a relationship is by the majority thought to be “normal”. Choosing to be single is thought to be “abnormal”. Obviously, there are other concerns like the financial burden of not having a shared income. Therefore, some people would rather be in miserable relationships than be alone.

There are so many positives of single life, that fear can make people overlook. Don’t let the fear of being “alone” keep you trapped in a bad relationship, or continually settling for less just to be with someone. Being in my mid 30’s, I was terrified at the thought of being alone, until I let myself be alone. Choosing to be single is the most liberating thing I have ever done.

Here are 15 fears people have about being single:

 

  1. not having validation – You are not defined by your relationship with others or lack there of.
  2. not being happy – Being in a relationship DOES NOT ALWAYS mean happiness. You CAN NOT depend on another person for your happiness. You must learn to make yourself happy.
  3. Not having sex again – Well, i’ll be honest this one still worries me a bit. but let’s be honest we can have great safe sex being single. And who knows singles might be having more sex than those in relationships.
  4. not being loved – The love you can give yourself is stronger and more pure than the love anyone else can offer (except maybe your dog).
  5. not being whole – You are whole on your own. You are not broken or missing half of yourself. There is no on out there who is going to complete you. You need to be able to complete yourself.
  6. being lonely – You don’t have to be lonely. First of all you will learn to love spending time with you. Most importantly, I have been more lonely when I was in certain relationships then I ever have being single.
  7. family and FRIEND pressure – Although family and friends might harp on the fact that you are single, they are not doing it to be hurtful. Now, that doesn’t mean that it is pleasant, or it doesn’t get annoying or hurt. But, you can not let it affect you as much. Ignore it! You know how happy and amazing you are! Odds are some of them are actually jealous of your singledom!
  8. Having to watch every last person in your life get married and have kids – this can be tough at times. It can also be liberating. I literally have watched everyone in my life get married and have kids. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it hurts a little. But, I can book a flight anywhere I want at the drop of a dime and visit somewhere I have never been. Believe me I do it often!
  9. companionship – The only companionship you need is your own.
  10. being unable to take care of yourself – You will not be unable to take care of yourself. In fact, you will be able to be your main priority.
  11. having a partner to offer you the world – You don’t need anyone to offer you the world. You can give that to yourself. (This is probably one of my favorite)
  12. having to go through tough times and illness alone – You will not have to go through the tough times or being ill alone. One of my best friends is also single and through tough times and illness neither of us have ever been alone. Friends and family will always be by your side. I have had to be put to sleep for a couple of procedures and my sister was there when I was done each time.
  13.  just being single – Being single for an extended period of time will give you a strength and freedom you never thought you were capable of.
  14.  dying alone – You can be married for 50 years and still die alone. You can be single with no children and die surrounded by those you love. The thought of dying alone used to plague me. Now I understand I have the most amazing friends and family (no bias here) who would never let that happen.
  15. running out of time to meet someone – Don’t be afraid that you are running out of time. Societal time frames are archaic and outdated. We all live longer. Women have careers to focus on now. If you don’t want to stay single forever, that’s OK. This isn’t a race! Take your time to do you and IF you want look for love when you are ready.

Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. Society tries to impose that we need a significant other to feel complete. These fears are completely natural, but don’r let them consume you. Leaving a relationship can be extremely difficult, especially because many times we get comfortable. Choose to  make yourself happy and focus on your own needs rather than on someone else’s.

Check out 20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/20-dates-to-take-yourself-on-when-you-are-single/

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

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Until next time….

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are SingleLadies, you might not be single forever. Revel in it. Enjoy it. This time you have to learn about yourself and fall in love with yourself is a gift. Make the most of it! Here is a list of 20 dates to take yourself on when you are single.

 

  1. Take yourself on an ultimate spa date. Pamper yourself with a mani, pedi, and go for the deluxe so you can enjoy the massage. Follow that with a facial if you’re feeling really feisty.

    20 Dates To Take Yourself On
    Spa Day
  2. Indulge in an in-home spa day, complete with a bubble bath, scented candles, and wine.

  3. Put on your most comfortable cloths you wouldn’t be caught in public with. Order your favorite take-out food to be delivered to your house. Enjoy a night of  binge watching Netflix and guiltless eating.

  4. Stay in and have an ultimate craft night—coloring, painting, drawing, DIY crafts etc. Feeling social? Invite some friends to join you. Enjoy your favorite cocktails. Don’t forget some great music too.20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

  5. Go to your favorite restaurant, don’t get the same thing you always do, be adventurous and be sure to order something new each time.20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  6. Grab your girls and go all out for an evening out on the town—dress to the nines, and hit up all your favorite hot spots.

  7. Spend a random night in the city and get a hotel. Order room service, check out the bar, enjoy  like a boss.

  8. Grab some friends and go dancing like fools at the local bar.

  9. Get a picnic blanket, snacks, and a journal or book you’ve been meaning to read and bring the to the nearest forest preserve or park. Set up camp and enjoy the day (sun or shade) by relaxing and enjoying some peace and quiet. Turn your cellphone off and enjoy.

Have a beach day just you, some tunes, and of course, snacks.20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

  1. Go on a long, relaxing nature walk.

  2. Take yourself to the movies. Be a rule breaker and sneak in your favorite candy.

  3. Go to one of the pretty, touristy places in town and take pictures, grab something to eat at one of the restaurants there, and finish off at a great bakery or coffee shop. 20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  4. Go to a free cooking, sewing, or scrap-booking. If you’re really feeling adventurous try a self  defense class. Enjoy learning something new.

  5. Take a shopping trip by yourself. Enjoy window shopping and treat yourself to at least one thing you don’t really need.

  6. Spend the afternoon volunteering at a homeless shelter feeding those in need or volunteer at a local animal clinic and help, play with, and love on some cute furry friends.

  7. Do something you’re absolutely terrified of completely on your own.

  8. Go to the zoo. Spend the day petting animals, taking pictures, and just having fun on your own. 20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  9. Throw on some chic clothes and go visit a local museum.

  10. Invite some friends over for a BBQ and have everyone bring a dish they haven’t made befor

Online Dating Making Women Want To Stay Single

As we get older our lives become hectic, between work and other adult responsibilities. Getting a date with the click of a button sounds great. How much easier is it with our busy lives to just go onto an app from our phones to hopefully meet our Mr. Right? But is online dating making women want to stay single.

After being single for a year and a half, I decided to get back in the game. Being 34 years old, working 50 hours a week,  and pretty much being over the club scene I was at a loss on how to meet someone. Everywhere we look online dating advertisements showing success story after success story, I decided this was it. Match, Bumble, Tinder, Zoosk and so on I had decisions to make.

I tried every one with little success. The entire ordeal has actually put me back off of dating and I have taken down almost all of my profiles. Nervous like a little school girl I combed through all of my photos to pick just the right ones. Now on to the hard part, your profile. Filling out my resume was less nerve racking and to be honest much easier than this.

Okay so your profile is ready to go and it is time to start swiping. It Can Be A Huge Ego Boost At First. Hundreds of matches, guys winking at you, it’s a whole new world. But then the ugly reality of online dating starts to set in. Masked by the anonymity of approaching you through messaging, men have the courage to lose regard for manners, decency, and lets be honest normal human behavior.

So I enlisted other women to share their online dating experiences with me. Even after all that I had experienced, I was shocked by what they had to say. Their stories ranged from men being married to after a few messages being asked to participate in threesomes. And how can we forget catfishing. Lucy Goes Dating @LucyGoesDating who I follow on Twitter Googled the photo of a catfisher who was attempting to engage her. She then called him out on the fact that is was a models photo. I was inspired by her at this moment!

Here we go…this is my list of why online dating makes women want to stay single:

Young men (I mean very young) messaging you because they think that you are a cougar or desperate because of your age.

No profile picture – I don’t know about you, but that just sends up warning signs all over the place for me.

Online dating making women want to stay single

Grammatically incorrect messages –

Online dating making women want to stay single

Bizarre requests – Yes, you are reading that right, a guy asked me to fart on him!

Online dating making women want to stay single

 

Naked Pictures – Sorry ladies these photos are to X rated for my blog!

Guys who wear fuzzy animal onesies –

Online dating making women want to stay single

Dirty or inappropriate messages –

Yes, calling a woman you have only exchanged a few messages with babe is inappropriate.

Online dating making women want to stay single Provided by: Dates, Dinner and Drinks @datesanddrinks

Online dating making women want to stay singleOnline dating making women want to stay single

Mmmmm niceing any woman as a way of greeting is gross, especially if you are 21 years her senior.

Online dating making women want to stay singleAsking a woman if she is 420 friendly as your greeting? Really? By the way it is 11 AM on a Monday, don’t you have a job?

 

Trying to have a conversation with some of these guys is like pulling teeth. Guys on dating apps don’t have any conversation skills.

DO NOT message us saying that you have seen us on other dating sites, followed by the fact that you thought you would reach out to us on this one.  I didn’t miss you, I swiped left. For a reason. Now in addition to making things awkward you have shown you have no regard for boundaries and our right to not be interested.

Lastly, ghosting – Now I must be honest here, we ladies do it too. It’s time for all of us to grow up and use our big boy/girl words and be nicely honest. We’re just not interested in you.

I don’t know about you, but I am Exhausted! While online dating can be fun and exciting, it can also be bad for your self-esteem. I have heard more then one woman say I thought I was a 7, but maybe I’m really only a 3. Even if you seem to have found a good one, you go on the obligatory coffee date and here we go with the pseudo job interview. Of course if it doesn’t work out you just go on another forced date. It becomes a nightmarish version of the movie Groundhog Day. This is why online dating makes women want to stay single.

Until next time…

 

 

 

 

A bad version of the movie Groundhog day!

 

 

 

The Dead Dads Club

Dead Dads Club

The Dead Dads Club is a society you hope never to become a member of, but once you do you are forever one of us. When a girl/woman loses her father a piece of her dies as well. Although it never goes away, The Dead Dads Club members will help you get through the tough times.

Through the tears, laughs, and all of those uncomfortable situations we are there for each other. Humor is what I have found is the key to making it through. Most importantly, you must find other members to bond with. Non members can sympathize, but they can not empathize. No one who is not a member can ever fully understand.

We all become members at different stages in our lives. That doesn’t matter because our road is now the same. I am writing this during a weekend of weddings. Anyone who is a member of The Dead Dads Club knows what that means.

My group of The Dead Dads Club are very supportive of each other. We compare notes on what to do when a bride is being walked down the aisle by their father, the father daughter dance, and the fathers speech so that we don’t break down right there.
Top answers:
  • Knowing exactly when to go MIA.

    • Going to the bathroom right before the father daughter dance.

    • Stepping outside right before the dreaded speech from father to daughter.

    • Checking out everyone’s shoes under the table so you have something to focus on.

There is no missing the notorious aisle walk. But we find ways to keep from falling apart right there in front of everyone.
  • Find a focal point where you can stare, zoning out without anyone noticing.

  • Counting in your head while staring at your focal point.

  • The groom is a good place to stare.

There is no getting out unscathed, but why not minimize the pain?

Dead Dads Club

Fathers Day is of course a yearly reminder of what we no longer have. My sister and I were lucky in a way. We had no grandfathers or uncles, so we could get drunk or hibernate away from everyone on Fathers Day and just cry. We did this for years.
Suddenly, something changed and my sister and her husband had twins. I will never forget the absolute anguish I felt when I had to face down the ominous Fathers Day aisle at the store for the first time in years. Standing there blankly staring at all of the cards, trying not to lose it right there.
People try to be sympathetic, but are unknowingly offensive. My father passed during my senior year of high school. When I returned to my waitressing job shortly after my fathers death one of the older woman customers actually asked me aren’t you the girl whose father just died? I froze, not sure how to react. What I wanted to say was FUCK YOU! What I said was yes, that’s me. The other most common statements people make that make a member of The Dead Dads Club furious are: I know how you feel I lost my Uncle, Grandfather etc. Hello? I literally just lost my father! Well God has a plan. It was his time to go. The list goes on. So does the anger and pain of the members of this unfortunate club.
Whether you were called to come right now because your father was dying or you got a phone call after he passed, that memory will be with you forever. It is a movie clip that will forever play at unaccepted times in your head. My sister and I were exhausted after my fathers open heart surgery so we left my mother at the hospital and went home. After all, he always made it through before. As we pulled into the driveway we got a phone call, you need to come back right now. By  time we made it back to the hospital, he was gone. The guilt of not saying goodbye and having left to get some sleep will never leave. Guilt is an ugly cross to bear.
The what ifs? My fathers surgeon had an emergency surgery right before my fathers. So, my fathers surgery got pushed back. We had a decision to make, postpone his surgery, which was an ordeal with the blood thinners he was on, or to proceed as planned. We chose to proceed. The what if we decided to postpone breaks my heart every time. What if I had stayed? Would I have been able to say goodbye? Would he not have felt so alone when he died? Please don’t kill yourself with what ifs. You can not change the past. Most importantly your father wouldn’t want you torturing yourself. Easier said then done. This is where other members of The Dead Dads Club come in. They will help you through it.
When you lose your father you might be angry. Others will probably not understand this. But your sisters of  The Dead Dads Club will. They will listen to you rant and pull you back when they know it is enough. Your tribe will understand when you need to talk about your mothers pain absolutely breaking your heart. Without the support of these women, my sister especially I would never make it through. You will share an unbreakable bond.

 

No matter what age a girl/woman is, she is always daddy’s little girl. A girls father is a hero, strong beyond compare, her forever safe place, and is indestructible in her eyes. It is devastating when that is ripped away. When a girl loses her father it leaves a hole in her heart, that although might get better with time, will never go away completely. Welcome to The Dead Dads Club.
The Dead Dads Club

Until next time….