Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn't Bad Enough

Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn’t Bad Enough

Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn't Bad Enough

At least when having been ghosted, you know that there is no hope because the person is gone. Well there is a new phenomenon called breadcrumbing, which you don’t really know what to think. According to Urban Dictionary, breadcrumbing is”When the “crush” has no intentions of taking things further, but they like the attention. So they flirt here or there, send dm/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single.”

I was recently breadcrumbed for about two weeks, not realizing what was happening. The last time he blew me off I called him out on it. He gave a lame apology, expecting me to jump on it. I didn’t respond. I never heard from him again. This from a 42 year old “man”. A “man” I texted with from first thing in the morning until I fell asleep at night. So I did what any person with self respect would do.

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So whether it be a person who is narcissistic, seeking constant validation and attention even if they have no intention to commit to anyone. Or, a person who may just want to keep all of their options open, always looking for something better. You need to realize the game and get out! These selfish and inadequate people are not something you need in your life. Tell them to:

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At the end of the day, of course it hurts to have been breadcrumbed. But just think, you actually lucked out. You avoided getting involved with a self involved, selfish, emotionally void person. You will continue to be fabulous, and they will continue to be emotionally empty. Celebrate your fabulous self and be grateful.

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So now that you know what breadcrumbing is, stay tuned for how to tell if you are being breadcrumbed and how to handle being breadcrumbed. Also check out The Epidemic Of Ghosting http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/the-epidemic-of-ghosting/
Until next time……

 

Sunshine Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

So, this is the second peer nominated award I have been nominated for in the past couple weeks. I am so grateful to the wonderful community of bloggers that I am a part of. I am also, proud that I have only been blogging for about eight moths.

Let me first start off by introducing who I was nominated by. Kat better known as The Boozy Housewife. She writes about so many great topics including but not limited to recipes, cocktails, and crafts.

https://boozyhousewife.family.blog/

Don’t forget to check out her post on The Sunshine Blogger Award and a couple of others she was nominated for as well.

https://boozyhousewife.family.blog/2018/10/16/awards/

Here are Kat’s questions!

1.) What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory is driving to the summer camp where my dad worked every weekday with him and going to breakfast. He would let me try a different flavor coffee each day.

2.) What is your favorite color, and why?

Green. Well, my eyes are hazel but turn green a lot. I love the way the color looks one me, and I think green looks sexy on people.

3.) Who is your favorite author, and what is your favorite work by them?

My favorite author is John Grisham. My favorite work by him  is The King of Torts.

4.) What is your useless talent?

My useless talent is that I am double jointed in my fingers. I can do this weird thing that makes them look like witch fingers.

5.) What do you wish you could do that you don’t think you could ever learn?

Sing! I love the way music makes me feel. I love how cathartic it can be. I unfortunately have a terrible voice.

6.) What is quirk do you have that you wish you didn’t?

My quirk I wish I didn’t have would be caring so much about everything.

7.) Tell me your favorite joke.

Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

8.) What would you do if you found a bag full of money on your front step with nothing indicating who it was from or what it was for?

If I found a bag full of money on my front step with no indication of who it belonged to I would put a small amount aside to donate. I would pay of my debt with the rest.

9.) Do you do any charity work, activism, or make any yearly donations of money or goods to any organization yearly? What are they?

Yes. I volunteer for local beach cleanups. I also just finished the process of signing up to be a mentor for the county school system. I have been assigned a child and am just waiting to meet her now.

10.) What is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear is being killed by my ex boyfriend.

11.) What is your hope for the world in future generations?

My hope for future generations….this is a hard one. I hope that they get their s*** together. I hope that they change the laws to be equal and fair. That women are no longer blamed for being beaten, sexually assaulted, and raped. I hope that they learn to actually work with each other instead of attacking each other rather than helping anything.

 

Rules

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to the original post 
  2. Answer the 11 questions they’ve asked you
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 questions
  4. Have fun!!

My Nominees!

@BloomingAzalea 

@ThCityandBeauty

@IMHOCBlog 

@my_lifelines 

@bumblebae2

@OurCarpeDiem

@I_Speak_Date

@BelieveinBumble 

@offtotheworld

@Single_CLE 

@TheSparkleMomma

Here are my questions!

1.) What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?

2.) What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

3.) What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

4.) What city would you most like to live in?

5.) What is something you will NEVER do again?

6.) If life is a game, like some people say, what are some of the rules?

7.) What is something that your friends would consider “so you”?

8.) What irrational fear do you have?

9.) What’s the last adventure you went on?

10.) What is the biggest lesson you never learned?

11.) What do you regret not doing?

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me a little better. Also, thank you for the love and support I’ve been shown. Please take the time to check out Kat The Boozy Housewife and my nominees.

 

Until next time….

15 Songs For Survivors of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence isn’t easy to talk about. However, if we don’t talk about it we will never be able to rid ourselves of the stigma, shame, and silence associated with domestic violence. I am a survivor of domestic violence, and find solace in these songs. Music has a healing effect. For this reason,  I wanted to share with fellow survivors.

Face Down – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Better Man – Pearl Jam

Gunpowder and Lead – Miranda Lambert

Church Bells  – Carrie Underwood

Independence Day – Martina McBride

Warrior – Demi Lovato

Cold Case Love – Rhianna

How Come How Long – Babyface

Love The Way You Lie – Eminem and Rhianna

Love The Way You Lie Part 2 – Rhianna

Oh Mother – Christina Aguilera

Rain on Me – Ashanti

Thank You – Jamilia

Silenced – Mersi Stone

 

Love is Blind – Eve

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. Victims/survivors of domestic violence should not be ashamed. The shame belongs to the abusers. However, until we stop the victim blaming, shaming, and ignorance the abuse will continue.

 

If you need help please reach out: National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/

 

 

 

 

Flawesome Award

Flawesome Award

Flawesome Award

I was nominated to do this tag award by Help Momma Sparkle. So first let me tell you what the flawesome award is. It celebrates the flaws that make us so damn fabulous! We are always seeing people awarded for achievements and successes. This is such a unique way of celebrating our quirks.

So the rules are:
– Link back the Creator.
– Display the Award.
– List 3 flaws.
– Tag 10 people

Now I have to give credit to the creator of this award.

Sophia Ismaa Writes.  https://sophiaismaa.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/the-flawesome-award/

I absolutely love her philosophy behind this award.

“How many times do we see an award that celebrates all things bright and shiny and sunny in a person? How often do we forget that our weaknesses can be a strength? Our flaws make us human, our flaws tell us more about who we are, and in turn we turn those flaws into awesome strengths. In short, our flaws make us #flawesome.”

So now the moment you have all been waiting for…. my flaws.

  1. I over analyze everything. I mean conversations, things I have or am about to publish, things people say to me…everything. I truly believe this is because I worry about everything. I over analyze situations, because I am afraid of what will happen if I am not prepared for it.

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2. Despite me doing a very good job of hiding it, I care what everyone thinks. I hate when someone doesn’t like me.

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3.  I have crippling  social anxiety. worrying about being negatively judged, evaluated, and viewed by others makes social situations very awkward.

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So basically, my flaws boil down to I think too much and feel too deeply.

Check out the awesome creator Sophia Ismaa https://sophiaismaa.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/the-flawesome-award/
Also please check out Help Momma Sparkle https://helpmommasparkle.com/?p=1098

I tag:

@BloomingAzalea 

@GirlPugWine

@suburb_single 

@I_Speak_Date

@enchanted_talez 

@IMHOCBlog 

@my_lifelines

@bumblebae2

@PlentyFreaks 

@Thetruth111016 

 

 

 

 

A Letter To My Abused Self

A Letter To My Abused Self

A Letter To My Abused Self

Listen here beautiful girl,

He doesn’t love you, he is incapable of love. A weak man cannot love a strong woman he won’t know what to do with her, and although you can’t see it now you are so strong. He is jealous of the light that burns inside you, all he can do is try to extinguish it.

You spend so much time finding the right makeup to cover the bruises, the right scarf to hide the choke marks, the shirt with the right sleeves to hide where he grabbed you so tightly, you can still see the imprint of his hands. You think that all of those things hide what he is doing to you from the rest of the world. You are wrong.

They see it. Many of them love you, but they cannot rescue you. You have to rescue yourself. You will not leave until you are ready, no matter how many people you lose, how many people plead with you, or how badly he beats you. But just know this, when you are ready the ones who love you will be there.

He has convinced you that you are so disgusting, so unworthy that no one but him loves you or will ever have you. He is wrong. You will see it clearly once you leave. There are so many people who love you and will help you. You will even love again.

The first time he beat you, he came to you after crying. He offered to turn himself in to the police. You thought he was sorry, he wasn’t. He just had to make sure you would stay. Now you almost look forward to the beatings because you know how good he will be to you afterwards. You will also be able to breathe for a minute, instead of holding your breath waiting.

No matter how well you clean the house, or cook a meal, or love him, it will never be good enough. The psychological torture and physical abuse will never stop, until you are gone or dead. He will almost kill you, more times than one. You need to keep your will to live.

You need to know that you are not crazy. He has already planted that seed in everyone’s mind so they will not believe you. But you know the truth, and so do they. He lies. About everything. The lies he tells you:

  • That didn’t happen.

  • If it did it, wasn’t that bad.

  • If it was, it wasn’t that big a deal.

  • If it was, it wasn’t his fault.

  • If it was, he didn’t mean it.

  • If he did, you made him do it.

When you do finally leave, it will be the scariest moment of your life. You will escape with literally nothing more than the clothes on your back. You will run like a terrified animal being hunted. No purse, no phone, no money, not even shoes on your feet. But how beautiful that moment will be.

You will get out alive, the road ahead of you will not be easy. Having to face reality versus the lies he told you will shatter you. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. You will put yourself back together from nothing. The new person you will create will be fearless, confident, and successful. She will be loved. Most importantly she will love herself.

Love,

Your future self

If you need help please reach out: National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/