New Years Resolutions For Singles

New Years Resolutions For Singles

New Years Resolutions For Singles

The new year is a time we all reflect on the past year. It is also a time that we look ahead and make goals for the year to come. I always find myself excited and hopeful about my upcoming year. I believe that it is truly important to focus on bettering myself and my life rather than focusing on how to find that “special someone”.  Here are New Year’s Resolutions for singles that will help you to  discover yourself  and better your life.

 

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Make a commitment to your personal self-improvement.
Have you been wanting to learn a new language? Is there a kickboxing class you have wanted to try? Make realistic goals about health, fitness, mental and emotional self-improvement and follow through on them.

Get out of your comfort zone
This New Year get out of your comfort zone. Make a conscious effort to say yes to trying new things and opening up to new opportunities.  Whether it be trying a new food or taking a class by yourself, Go for it! I have learned that the more I get out of my comfort zone the more I find things that I love.

Have a better attitude
It is easy to become bitter and pessimistic during the holidays, especially when you are single. Heading into the New Year being single, is the perfect time to be happy and optimistic about the upcoming year and all of the possibilities that it can bring. When you are bogged down with negative thoughts and expectations you are your own worst enemy. Don’t let your negativity become a self-fulfilling prophesy. 

Smile More Often

As we move through life, we can get distracted, overwhelmed, and just plain busy. Stop and take a second to smile. Not only will smiling more actually make you happier, it will positively affect those around you. As for yourself, smiling actually releases endorphins. This means you will physically feel the effects of smiling more!

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Take care of yourself

When looking at the year ahead, don’t let self care fall by the way side. I know we can get busy and overwhelmed, even by our own goals. Self-care is a must for everyone! Make a promise to yourself to take the time to practice self-care in the upcoming year. Whether it is getting a massage regularly or something as simple as going to bed a little bit earlier, this might be one of your most important resolutions!

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Leave the Past in the Past
Leaving the past in the past is something I really struggle with. I also know that this will be a resolution that I work on most. By no means am I saying that you have to forgive and forget. I am saying that in order to be healthy and happy for me I know I must stop focusing on the past and look on making a better future and living in the moment. Whether you hold anger, animosity, or resentment toward others, or you hold guilt for yourself, it is time to leave the past in the past.

There are far better things ahead than we leave in the past

C.S. Lewis

No matter what your New Year’s resolutions are, make sure they make your life better. Make yourself a promise to be a healthier and happier you! Happy New Year to you all.

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Until next time…..

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year's Eve Is The Best

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year’s Eve Is The Best

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year's Eve Is The Best

Embrace bringing in the New Year Solo! 

To all of my fellow singles: You have almost survived the holiday season! You are nearly done being grilled by family, friends, and co-workers over your single status. Last up? Ringing in the New Year flying solo. Many singles anguish over being single on New Year’s Eve. Why? Bringing in the New Year solo can be amazing. You can make it anything you want. 

New Year’s Eve is synonymous with PARTY! Who knows how to party better than us singles? Live it up and party like a rock star. 

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Not the party type? That’s okay too! You don’t have to fight with anyone about staying in. It’s completely up to you! Plan an awesome night in, and don’t worry about fighting with anyone about being able to stay home. 

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Forget about agonizing over the perfect New Year’s Eve with your partner. No need for high expectations (declarations of love, marriage proposals, invites to move in, etc.). You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to have that movie perfect romantic midnight kiss. 

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You can kiss whomever you want at midnight. Your best friend, sister, mom, your dog, ANYONE! That includes the hot stranger at the bar/club. 

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2019 will be your year! You don’t have to worry if you and your partners resolutions match up, torturing yourself on what milestones you need to hit this year as a couple. Plan what things you want to knock off your bucket list, how you can improve your quality of life, decide what you will do differently to be happier. 

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There is no rush. “Take as long as you want to get ready. You don’t have a significant other impatiently waiting for you. No one telling you you are taking to long. 

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You can dance all night long! I don’t know about you but I have dated some guys who hated to dance. What a buzz kill. You are single and can dance all night without a care in the world, enjoy it. 

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Whether you plan to ring in the New Year dressed to the nines partying like it’s 1999, or enjoying the night at home with delivery and pajamas, have a blast ringing in the New Year solo. 

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Until next time……
5 Ways Not To Be Used

5 Ways Not To Be Used

5 Ways Not To Be Used

Nothing hurts more than when we have put ourselves out there, only to find out we’ve been being used. The person who is using us definitely sucks as a human being, but did we set ourselves up for failure? There are things that we can do to help prevent someone from using us. Here are 5 ways not to be used.

1) Believe in patterns not apologies. We have all heard the old adage actions speak louder than words. It is sooo true! If someones actions hurt you, makes you question yourself, or make you feel more lonely than if you were alone, do not keep that person in your life!

2) Don’t fall in love with potential. People are who they are. We as women especially, can fall in love with someone’s potential. Remember a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. You cannot excpect someone to change or be better.

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3) Believe in red flags. Trust your gut! Also trust the people who love you! If the people closest to you take issue with someone in your life, remember these are your ride or die’s. They are not trying to harm you, but protect you.

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4) Know your worth. If you undervalue yourself, it makes it easier for others to do the same. Know how valuable, amazing, and special you are! Do not ever let anyone make you forget it.

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5) Don’t lower your standards. Never lower your standards for anyone. No one is worth that sacrifice.

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At the end of the day, we cannot control the actions of others. We cannot blame ourselves for their behavior. But we can safeguard ourselves from being mistreated.

Until next time………

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas when you’re single can be emotionally draining and difficult. Whether it is not wanting to show up single to events or dealing with nosy people. Which is why I’ve compiled a guide to getting through the Christmas season solo.

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First off, don’t overlook all of the benefits of being single during the Christmas season. There is no agonizing over what to but your partner, and better yet you don’t have to spend the money. Then there is the relief of not having to figure out or argue about how to split your time among the families. Best of all, you do not have to deal with the craziness of a family that is not yours!

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Having to walk into any big gathering during Christmas, whether it be a company party, or a relatives house can be daunting to say the least. You might feel like the entire room is staring at you, like some kind of spectacle. Let me tell you something, people are paying a lot less attention to you than you think. The secret is to let go and just enjoy yourself. More importantly let others enjoy you! Oh and there’s alway alcohol!

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Odds are you won’t be the only single person at these events. If you feel like you will be the only single person there, change it! Invite a friend to tag along.

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Have a comeback ready for nosy people, whether they be friends, family, or strangers. When questioning you on your love life or lack there off, remember, they are odds are not trying to be hurtful. Now of course there are some who might be, keep in mind if that is the case then they must be pretty miserable themselves. You can either answer in earnest (I haven’t found the right person yet) or in humor (I decided I didn’t want to spend a fortune on gifts this year).

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Try doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Sure, you can take all of that money you are saving on gifts and spend it on yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, or pedicure. Or even better, volunteer. It is the season for giving. Not only will you be helping others, but you will automatically feel batter about yourself as well!

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Whatever you do DO NOT wallow! If you allow yourself to indulge in that negative behavior, nothing good will come of it. It will only get worse and you will find yourself on an ugly downward spiral. Plus, you don’t want people to pity you, you are to awesome for that!

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Being single is a relationship status, not a death sentence.

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So don’t freak out and don’t be a Grinch! Enjoy Christmas and your freedom to enjoy it however, wherever, and whenever you want!!

 

Until next time….

The Return Of The Douche Bag

The Return Of The Douche Bag

Do not fall for the return of the douche bag! He will come to you with fake apologies, even show you he’s not such a bad guy, he might even take you on a few dates. But at the end of the day he is still a douche bag.

He’s a legend in his own mind.  He thinks he’s a 10 when in reality he is just a sad 42-year-old man who cannot handle being with a real woman. He is incapable  of caring about the fact that he caused you embarrassment and pain.

You are nothing more than a game to him and that will never change. Now he is definitely charming, handsome, and witty so you want to believe that he is is the exception to the rule. He isn’t.

And you wonder why he can be so cruel as to play these games with you? Maybe, it’s because you make it so easy for him.

The douche bag is inherently selfish where he preys on women who will feed his ego and buys his time until he moves on to his next prey.

Don’t be too hard on yourself if you let them back in once. It’s  not your fault that he is an emotional cripple, a coward, a manipulator.

If they don’t choose you they lose you. Don’t waste your time waiting around for someone who is incapable of being a decent human being. Do not be someone’s back up plan and certainly do not be there second choice.

Please observe the douche bag in his natural habitat

The Return Of The Douche BagThe Return Of The Douche Bag

The Return Of The Douche Bag The Return Of The Douche Bag The Return Of The Douche Bag

The hallmarks of Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) are grandiosity, a lack of empathy for other people, and a need for admiration. … They may also concentrate on grandiose fantasies (e.g. their own success, beauty, brilliance) and may be convinced that they deserve special treatment.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/conditions/narcissistic-personality-disorder

Sound familiar? Yes it seems like The douche bag is also a narcissist.

UPDATE: prior to me publishing this, after writing it I found out that the Douche Bag is also engaged and living with his fiance and has a child with her. He proposed to her in April of this year. He admitted everything and had the audacity to apologize and ask if we could talk. Classic Douche Bag he told me how guilty he felt because I was such an amazing woman. Lets be real what he really wants is for me not to tell her and not to publish this blog post! To late, I already spoke to his fiance, who let me know he denied the entire thing. However, I was able to send her all of the text messages, photos, and his dating profile online. Goodbye Douche Bag!

Until next time….

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

While people generally want to be kind and encouraging to others, sometimes they can really put their foot in their mouth. I have heard these comments made by both single and married friends, family, and people who really don’t know me well enough to comment at all. While I cannot speak for women everywhere, here is my top 20 most annoying things single girls are tired of hearing.

 

1. “You? You’re single?!”

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Gasp, I know right.

 

2.”Why aren’t you in a relationship?”

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I don’t know, I just love my dog too much.

 

3.”Maybe you’re just better off single.”

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Um? Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.

4.”Being single is so much easier anyway.”

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Then why are you in a relationship right now…? And who takes care of you when you are sick and can’t drive? Your partner? Oh right.

 

5.”Take time to work on yourself first.”

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So….what are you saying I need to fix about myself?

 

6.”Girl, you are so much better than {Fill in your ex’s name here}.”

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I know I am, but that doesn’t help me find someone new. Or feel better about wasting a year of my life with him, but thanks!

 

7.”The second you stop looking for love, it will find you.”

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Please explain to me why I haven’t been looking for quite some time and here I am still single.

 

8.”Please let me set you up, I know the perfect person for you!”

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No, no, and no. Thanks anyway. The last person I agreed to let set me up, did’t know the guy was a felon.

 

9.”Stop being so picky, maybe that’s your problem.”

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Yes, let me completely lower my standards to be miserable with anyone, just so that I can be with someone.

 

10.”Don’t worry, it’ll happen.”

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Yeah, when? In another five years?

 

11.”There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

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Well first off I’m not a fish. I also don’t live in the sea. Lastly, just because there are plenty of them doesn’t make any of them normal.

 

12.”Maybe you aren’t putting yourself out there enough.”

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Well, not that it is any of your business, but I put myself out there all the time. I just don’t like to publicize all of my rejections.

 

13.”You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

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You don’t say…

 

14.”Everything happens for a reason.”

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That is possibly the least helpful, unoriginal advice ever. Also, now you have put me in an awkward position because there is no appropriate answer to this.

 

15. Well you should try this dating app instead, and let me see who you are choosing. They probably are the wrong choices.

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I’m sorry, are you single? Have you ever even used a dating app? I feel so much better, that you know me better than I know myself, of course you should swipe for me.

 

16. Do you really want to end up alone?

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Oh, I didn’t know because I am single at the moment, that means I will be single for the rest of my life. And if I do, would that really be the WORST thing in the world?

 

17. Be careful, or you will end up the old cat lady, followed by hysterical laughter.

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Oh my God, you are so funny, no one has ever said that to me before. Also, obviously you don’t know me very well. I will be the old DOG lady. Plus, animals are way better than people.

 

18. You know you do not need a man to have a baby, you should think about it before you get to old.

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What? Really? Why would you think that is an okay statement to make to anyone? Ever?  Enough said.

 

19. And that is why she is is still single.

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While not directed at you it still is very irritating. Here’s why: First of all it implies that there is something wrong with the social status of being single, Second of all, now I am wondering what you say about why I am STILL single when I am not around, and Third of all have you ever thought maybe she WANTS to be single?

20. You must have so much time on your hands.

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Yes, we singles do not have time we need to spend with a partner, and some of us do not have children to raise. We are however, not sitting around twiddling out thumbs with all of this extra time. We do not have anyone to help us with the chores, grocery shopping, upkeep of our vehicles, homes etc. We also have amazingly full lives. I myself spend time with family, friends, I travel when I can. Most of us also have careers. I mentor a little girl once a week. So keep this in mind the next time you want to make such a silly comment.

 

Most of us have experienced that awkward moment when well meaning people try to comfort “us singles”. Whether it be with words of encouragement, invasive questions (meant to find the root of our “problem”), or promises about our future. Rarely does it ever have their desired effect. I’d say about 99% of the time it is an epic fail. So the next time you are conversing with a single woman keep these comments in mind.

 

Until next time…..