How To Let Someone Love You

How To Let Someone Love You

How To Let Someone Love You

Having experienced some very bad breakups and even some not so great friendships, I have built some serious walls. My default mode is to push people away. I have had to make a conscious effort to let people in and more specifically to let people love me.

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I never fully felt like I deserved a healthy relationship or partner.

When ever someone got to close I would fight, flee, or freeze. I have been dating an amazing guy who is nice beyond belief. In the beginning I would literally feel like I was choking because I didn’t know how to accept his kindness and affection. My sister gave me some great advice. Just breathe through it.

Step one is actually very easy. Admit what you really want. Do not allow fear of being hurt or embarrassed stop you. A very good friend of mine would always tell me that a healthy relationship is what I really wanted. My own securities kept me from admitting that. (Until I met someone who was really a good guy and made me feel comfortable to admit it.)

Recognize your patterns. Personally, I know that I would push away anyone who was “to nice” or anyone who had their s*** together. As a result I also would find things wrong with men that I dated if I thought they were getting to close.

Communicate. Let the other person know you are struggling. Let them help you. If the person is worth it they will not judge you but love you through it.

Understand that dysfunction doesn’t equal love.

As uncomfortable as it is work on yourself. Build your confidence and self worth. You need to consider yourself worthy of being loved.

Letting go of past hurts and trauma can feel impossible. However it is necessary not only to you healing but to allowing someone to love you.

Real talk it does get easier but it hasn’t completely gone away. I still struggle with it. Luckily for me the guy I am dating is patient and kind. Also I have an amazing group of friends that know me and help me get through it without sabotaging things.

Come Check out How I found My Self Worth http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/finding-my-self-worth/

Love will always be a risk.  All things considered, it is worth it though. Living not allowing anyone to love you is a very lonely life. So take a deep breath… … and then have the courage to allow yourself to be loved.

Becoming The Person You Were Meant To Be

Becoming The Person You Were Meant To Be

Becoming The Person You Were Meant To Be

In today’s age of everyone’s perfect lives on social media, we find ourselves competing with unrealistic ideas of how our lives should be. Many of us also tone down or change who we are to make others happy, or to get the lives we think we want. Well, it’s exhausting. Becoming the person you were meant to be is imperative to finding happiness. 

So the question is how do we become the person we are meant to be? We see it all the time: Be You! Become Yourself! But no one actually shares with us how to do that. Whether it be sitting for hours and getting false eyelashes glued to your face (which I have done many times) or something deeper like changing who you are as a person, we all do things to change who we are. So how do we become the person we were meant to be. 

The truth is it won’t always be easy or pretty. It will take work. More importantly it will take making mistakes, failure, disappointment, reading (a lot), and that’s just to name a few. Remember to focus on the person that you are, and not the person you wish that you were.


“It takes courage to grow up and become who you really are.


E.E. Cummings

So take a minute and ask yourself, how do I stop being who I am not?

Stop working on trying to be normal and start working on being you. Be authentic.
You have to be honest with yourself about what you are passionate about and who it is you really want to be, despite what others think and the social “norm”.

You will odds are feel regret about things from your past. Don’t dwell on them. Use them as learning lessons and move forward.

Stop berating yourself. If you keep telling yourself that you cannot be something or are not worthy of something, it will be a self full filling prophesy. Your truth really is you can be anything that you put your mind to!


Find your truth.
 Every person has something they were born to do. You have a unique purpose for being here, and you have to find it.

So remember learn who you are, love who you are, and live who you are.

Finding My Self Worth

Finding My Self Worth

Finding My Self Worth

 I have been a people pleaser for as long as I can remember. The sacrifice has been to always make others happy at the cost of my mental and physical health, my own respect, and my own happiness. What I thought was my worth was based on what I gave to others. 

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Unfortunately most people took advantage of that, leaving me feeling sad, hurt, and angry at myself. Some unconsciously took advantage of it. At the end of the day I was always feeling empty, and not worth much.

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It took a very bad situation I got myself into, in order for me to realize that I needed to get help and change. My family and friends rallied around me. The common advice was I needed to see my self worth because I deserve so much better than my poor choices.

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I felt so badly at the time it was almost painful to hear how amazing they all think that I am. How worthy I am. I would shake my head and say yes, then cry by myself because I just wished that I could see myself through their eyes.

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So I started reading up on how to change my perception of myself and how to change my behavior. It wasn’t easy. It was really hard to hear some of the things that I had to come to terms with. I had to hear them or I could never change my self destructive behavior though.

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One of the hardest things I had to acknowledge was that I would sexualize myself to get attention. Over the top makeup, lower cut shirts, tight bottoms, anything for attention. If I wasn’t getting looks and/or attention I felt terrible. Of course this is extremely embarrassing, especially because all I ever wanted was for one person to love me. My intention was never to be promiscuous, but I would feel validated with sexual attention.

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Friendships is another area that this destructive behavior was prevalent. Time and time again I have been absolutely heartbroken by so called friends. My family and friends have a running joke about me taking in strays. From the time I was in high school, I would take in friends who didn’t have a place to go. Making my family an involuntary part of my behavior. These “friends” that I took in stole from my family, myself, lied to me, and took advantage every way they could. If I could get back all of the money I have lent out and never received back I would probably be able to pay off all of my debt.

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Still for some ungodly reason, I would make excuses for these people and feel more worthless about myself.

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So, I took a couple of days to myself and did some soul searching. I pinpointed a lot of my destructive behaviors. Then I decided to get to work. I began doing exercises like writing a list of what I love, respect, and admire about myself. I downloaded an amazing app named Sanity and Self. https://www.sanityandself.com/ I began working on it every day. I know affirmations can make you feel stupid, but I tried it. Believe it or not they work! It’s about changing what you say to yourself and how you make yourself feel.

Sanity and Self is so much more than affirmations. There is something for everyone. This app has been life changing for me. It has inspired me beyond words. I started with a one week series on self love. It covered self-esteem, self respect, confidence, personal growth, and more. This app is perfect for helping you with self worth.

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Basing your self worth on others perpetuates an endless cycle of self hate. We all need to start somewhere. I have barely begun my journey and it is nowhere near over. It is something I need to work on every day.

Check out HOW TO LIVE A BALANCED LIFE AS A WORKING WOMAN http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/?p=2630