Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn't Bad Enough

Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn’t Bad Enough

Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn't Bad Enough

At least when having been ghosted, you know that there is no hope because the person is gone. Well there is a new phenomenon called breadcrumbing, which you don’t really know what to think. According to Urban Dictionary, breadcrumbing is”When the “crush” has no intentions of taking things further, but they like the attention. So they flirt here or there, send dm/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single.”

I was recently breadcrumbed for about two weeks, not realizing what was happening. The last time he blew me off I called him out on it. He gave a lame apology, expecting me to jump on it. I didn’t respond. I never heard from him again. This from a 42 year old “man”. A “man” I texted with from first thing in the morning until I fell asleep at night. So I did what any person with self respect would do.

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So whether it be a person who is narcissistic, seeking constant validation and attention even if they have no intention to commit to anyone. Or, a person who may just want to keep all of their options open, always looking for something better. You need to realize the game and get out! These selfish and inadequate people are not something you need in your life. Tell them to:

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At the end of the day, of course it hurts to have been breadcrumbed. But just think, you actually lucked out. You avoided getting involved with a self involved, selfish, emotionally void person. You will continue to be fabulous, and they will continue to be emotionally empty. Celebrate your fabulous self and be grateful.

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So now that you know what breadcrumbing is, stay tuned for how to tell if you are being breadcrumbed and how to handle being breadcrumbed. Also check out The Epidemic Of Ghosting http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/the-epidemic-of-ghosting/
Until next time……

 

Sunshine Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

Sunshine Blogger Award

So, this is the second peer nominated award I have been nominated for in the past couple weeks. I am so grateful to the wonderful community of bloggers that I am a part of. I am also, proud that I have only been blogging for about eight moths.

Let me first start off by introducing who I was nominated by. Kat better known as The Boozy Housewife. She writes about so many great topics including but not limited to recipes, cocktails, and crafts.

https://boozyhousewife.family.blog/

Don’t forget to check out her post on The Sunshine Blogger Award and a couple of others she was nominated for as well.

https://boozyhousewife.family.blog/2018/10/16/awards/

Here are Kat’s questions!

1.) What is your favorite childhood memory?

My favorite childhood memory is driving to the summer camp where my dad worked every weekday with him and going to breakfast. He would let me try a different flavor coffee each day.

2.) What is your favorite color, and why?

Green. Well, my eyes are hazel but turn green a lot. I love the way the color looks one me, and I think green looks sexy on people.

3.) Who is your favorite author, and what is your favorite work by them?

My favorite author is John Grisham. My favorite work by him  is The King of Torts.

4.) What is your useless talent?

My useless talent is that I am double jointed in my fingers. I can do this weird thing that makes them look like witch fingers.

5.) What do you wish you could do that you don’t think you could ever learn?

Sing! I love the way music makes me feel. I love how cathartic it can be. I unfortunately have a terrible voice.

6.) What is quirk do you have that you wish you didn’t?

My quirk I wish I didn’t have would be caring so much about everything.

7.) Tell me your favorite joke.

Why did the traffic light turn red? You would too if you had to change in the middle of the street.

8.) What would you do if you found a bag full of money on your front step with nothing indicating who it was from or what it was for?

If I found a bag full of money on my front step with no indication of who it belonged to I would put a small amount aside to donate. I would pay of my debt with the rest.

9.) Do you do any charity work, activism, or make any yearly donations of money or goods to any organization yearly? What are they?

Yes. I volunteer for local beach cleanups. I also just finished the process of signing up to be a mentor for the county school system. I have been assigned a child and am just waiting to meet her now.

10.) What is your greatest fear?

My greatest fear is being killed by my ex boyfriend.

11.) What is your hope for the world in future generations?

My hope for future generations….this is a hard one. I hope that they get their s*** together. I hope that they change the laws to be equal and fair. That women are no longer blamed for being beaten, sexually assaulted, and raped. I hope that they learn to actually work with each other instead of attacking each other rather than helping anything.

 

Rules

  1. Thank the blogger who nominated you and link to the original post 
  2. Answer the 11 questions they’ve asked you
  3. Nominate 11 other bloggers and ask them 11 questions
  4. Have fun!!

My Nominees!

@BloomingAzalea 

@ThCityandBeauty

@IMHOCBlog 

@my_lifelines 

@bumblebae2

@OurCarpeDiem

@I_Speak_Date

@BelieveinBumble 

@offtotheworld

@Single_CLE 

@TheSparkleMomma

Here are my questions!

1.) What hobby would you get into if time and money weren’t an issue?

2.) What would be your first question after waking up from being cryogenically frozen for 100 years?

3.) What is something you think everyone should do at least once in their lives?

4.) What city would you most like to live in?

5.) What is something you will NEVER do again?

6.) If life is a game, like some people say, what are some of the rules?

7.) What is something that your friends would consider “so you”?

8.) What irrational fear do you have?

9.) What’s the last adventure you went on?

10.) What is the biggest lesson you never learned?

11.) What do you regret not doing?

Thank you for taking the time to get to know me a little better. Also, thank you for the love and support I’ve been shown. Please take the time to check out Kat The Boozy Housewife and my nominees.

 

Until next time….

15 Songs For Survivors of Domestic Violence

Domestic violence isn’t easy to talk about. However, if we don’t talk about it we will never be able to rid ourselves of the stigma, shame, and silence associated with domestic violence. I am a survivor of domestic violence, and find solace in these songs. Music has a healing effect. For this reason,  I wanted to share with fellow survivors.

Face Down – The Red Jumpsuit Apparatus

Better Man – Pearl Jam

Gunpowder and Lead – Miranda Lambert

Church Bells  – Carrie Underwood

Independence Day – Martina McBride

Warrior – Demi Lovato

Cold Case Love – Rhianna

How Come How Long – Babyface

Love The Way You Lie – Eminem and Rhianna

Love The Way You Lie Part 2 – Rhianna

Oh Mother – Christina Aguilera

Rain on Me – Ashanti

Thank You – Jamilia

Silenced – Mersi Stone

 

Love is Blind – Eve

On average, nearly 20 people per minute are physically abused by an intimate partner in the United States. Victims/survivors of domestic violence should not be ashamed. The shame belongs to the abusers. However, until we stop the victim blaming, shaming, and ignorance the abuse will continue.

 

If you need help please reach out: National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/

 

 

 

 

Flawesome Award

Flawesome Award

Flawesome Award

I was nominated to do this tag award by Help Momma Sparkle. So first let me tell you what the flawesome award is. It celebrates the flaws that make us so damn fabulous! We are always seeing people awarded for achievements and successes. This is such a unique way of celebrating our quirks.

So the rules are:
– Link back the Creator.
– Display the Award.
– List 3 flaws.
– Tag 10 people

Now I have to give credit to the creator of this award.

Sophia Ismaa Writes.  https://sophiaismaa.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/the-flawesome-award/

I absolutely love her philosophy behind this award.

“How many times do we see an award that celebrates all things bright and shiny and sunny in a person? How often do we forget that our weaknesses can be a strength? Our flaws make us human, our flaws tell us more about who we are, and in turn we turn those flaws into awesome strengths. In short, our flaws make us #flawesome.”

So now the moment you have all been waiting for…. my flaws.

  1. I over analyze everything. I mean conversations, things I have or am about to publish, things people say to me…everything. I truly believe this is because I worry about everything. I over analyze situations, because I am afraid of what will happen if I am not prepared for it.

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2. Despite me doing a very good job of hiding it, I care what everyone thinks. I hate when someone doesn’t like me.

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3.  I have crippling  social anxiety. worrying about being negatively judged, evaluated, and viewed by others makes social situations very awkward.

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So basically, my flaws boil down to I think too much and feel too deeply.

Check out the awesome creator Sophia Ismaa https://sophiaismaa.wordpress.com/2018/08/31/the-flawesome-award/
Also please check out Help Momma Sparkle https://helpmommasparkle.com/?p=1098

I tag:

@BloomingAzalea 

@GirlPugWine

@suburb_single 

@I_Speak_Date

@enchanted_talez 

@IMHOCBlog 

@my_lifelines

@bumblebae2

@PlentyFreaks 

@Thetruth111016 

 

 

 

 

A Letter To My Abused Self

A Letter To My Abused Self

A Letter To My Abused Self

Listen here beautiful girl,

He doesn’t love you, he is incapable of love. A weak man cannot love a strong woman he won’t know what to do with her, and although you can’t see it now you are so strong. He is jealous of the light that burns inside you, all he can do is try to extinguish it.

You spend so much time finding the right makeup to cover the bruises, the right scarf to hide the choke marks, the shirt with the right sleeves to hide where he grabbed you so tightly, you can still see the imprint of his hands. You think that all of those things hide what he is doing to you from the rest of the world. You are wrong.

They see it. Many of them love you, but they cannot rescue you. You have to rescue yourself. You will not leave until you are ready, no matter how many people you lose, how many people plead with you, or how badly he beats you. But just know this, when you are ready the ones who love you will be there.

He has convinced you that you are so disgusting, so unworthy that no one but him loves you or will ever have you. He is wrong. You will see it clearly once you leave. There are so many people who love you and will help you. You will even love again.

The first time he beat you, he came to you after crying. He offered to turn himself in to the police. You thought he was sorry, he wasn’t. He just had to make sure you would stay. Now you almost look forward to the beatings because you know how good he will be to you afterwards. You will also be able to breathe for a minute, instead of holding your breath waiting.

No matter how well you clean the house, or cook a meal, or love him, it will never be good enough. The psychological torture and physical abuse will never stop, until you are gone or dead. He will almost kill you, more times than one. You need to keep your will to live.

You need to know that you are not crazy. He has already planted that seed in everyone’s mind so they will not believe you. But you know the truth, and so do they. He lies. About everything. The lies he tells you:

  • That didn’t happen.

  • If it did it, wasn’t that bad.

  • If it was, it wasn’t that big a deal.

  • If it was, it wasn’t his fault.

  • If it was, he didn’t mean it.

  • If he did, you made him do it.

When you do finally leave, it will be the scariest moment of your life. You will escape with literally nothing more than the clothes on your back. You will run like a terrified animal being hunted. No purse, no phone, no money, not even shoes on your feet. But how beautiful that moment will be.

You will get out alive, the road ahead of you will not be easy. Having to face reality versus the lies he told you will shatter you. You are not a victim, you are a survivor. You will put yourself back together from nothing. The new person you will create will be fearless, confident, and successful. She will be loved. Most importantly she will love herself.

Love,

Your future self

If you need help please reach out: National Domestic Violence Hotline https://www.thehotline.org/

 

Tips On How To Handle Being Ghosted

Tips On How To Handle Being Ghosted

Tips On How To Handle Being Ghosted

Ghosting – although extremely cruel is also very popular. If you are single in this digital world of dating, odds are you will be ghosted at least once. Confrontation is not something most people look forward to, so ghosting makes ending things easy and painless for the ghoster. The ghostee however, has an array of emotions they must now battle through. Hurt, pain, and confusion are at the top of the list. With this new epidemic of ghosting, we must learn how to handle being ghosted. So here are some tips on how to handle being ghosted.

First and foremost don’t jump the gun. Make sure you have actually been ghosted before reacting. Sometimes people get busy and can’t text as often as they did in the beginning. If you text someone and get no reply at all yes you’ve been ghosted. But if you are only getting one text a day, when you were getting multiple, it’s not so clear.

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Now if you are anything like me, you will call them out on it. If you decide to call them out on it do not expect a response or explanation. Cowards are cowards, but it might make you feel better. The last guy that ghosted me prompted me to write The Epidemic Of Ghosting. I sent him a text calling him a coward and thanked him for the inspiration for my blog post. I included the link for him.

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Once you call them out ONCE leave it alone. Firstly, you don’t want to look crazy. Don’t give them a reason to justify ghosting you. Secondly, you will not get what you are looking for.  As difficult and frustrating as it might be, nothing you do will get you the answers that you are looking for.

Now comes the most important things. Delete every form of contact. This isn’t just for you, but to cut them off from trying to contact you again. Delete their number. Block them on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, Snapchat, and anything else they can contact you with. They showed you no respect, there are no do overs.

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It’s not you, it’s them! You did nothing to deserve that kind of treatment. You are not to blame for their cowardice. Stop second guessing everything you said and did.

Remember how amazing you are and that you deserve better. Be grateful that they are no longer in your life. Not only do you not want such a weak person in your life, but imagine how shity they would be in other aspects of a relationship with this kind of behavior.

Give yourself one good cry. Call your friends and have a couple of drinks commiserating over what an ass your ghoster is. Vent and cry, make sure you get it all out.

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Lastly have a good laugh at the ghosters expense. I’m talking about belly laughs at the man with no balls. Who better then your ride or die girls to shred this POS with?

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Now pick up your big girl  panties and move on. Remember the queen that you are and go about your life. Don’t give them a second thought.

Don’t forget to come check out The Epidemic Of Ghosting http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/the-epidemic-of-ghosting/

 

Until next time…

The Epidemic of Ghosting

The Epidemic of Ghosting

The Epidemic of Ghosting

In this new digital world of dating, well let’s face it digital way of living, people feel free to act in ways they wouldn’t normally IRL. Whether it be sending naked photos to strangers, bullying, or ghosting. Ghosting, in case you have been living under a rock is when someone you have been “talking to” or dating simply vanishes without a word.

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I was recently ghosted by a 42 year old man we will refer to as Starbucks Matthew. I don’t feel the need to hold back when it comes to shitheads so I let him know he was my inspiration for this.

The Epidemic of Ghosting

Is there anything really more cowardly or cruel than making someone think that things are going great, and then just disappearing? No goodbye, no explanation, no reason, just poof gone. Not even the decency to muster up the lame ass it’s not you, it’s me.And why not? Odds are you will never have to face the ghosted party again. We live in a society where you meet online and no longer through acquaintances of other IRL scenarios.
How easy it is to treat people so shitty when there is no accountability. Cowardliness is the new norm. There is no one to confront the ghosters, so they have no shame in their behavior. No one deserves to sit around and wonder what the f*** they did, because someone else decides to be a piece of shit. It seems that in this new society manners, etiquette, and hell, human decency are dying at an alarming rate.

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Don’t allow yourself to be defeated by these fuckboys. You are amazing!

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If you are single in this brave new world, odds are you will be ghosted at least once if you haven’t already. It’s very easy to say don’t take it personally, it’s not you, it’s them. Well, duh, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell. Let’s try something new though. Let’s use our pain to reflect on how we treat others in this new world and do better.

Stay tuned for Tips On How To Handle Being Ghosted.

Until next time…

Dating Today Sucks and Here's Why

Dating Today Sucks and Here’s Why

  1. Dating Today Sucks and Here's Why

Dating Today Sucks and Here’s Why:

Everyone is a commitmentphobe talking to multiple people at all times. People are so busy looking for something better, that they don’t build a relationship with anyone. Most dating is online instead of IRL, which is awkward and tedious. In this new digital age of communication, it is as if people no longer know how to truly interact with others in a meaningful way.

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How can you ever make a real connection when you are battling cat fishers, competing with endless other people, ghosting, and countless other insanities. You have to be prepared for the ceaseless stream of first date interviews (sometimes worse than an actual job interview), most over obligatory coffee. Even if you battle through and ace your first date, that is where the real games begin.
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People don’t date anymore, they hang out. They text at midnight seeing who will respond. They play games. Well, we had a great date now I can’t text for three days. They get a text that makes them smile, but put the phone down because they can’t respond to quickly, in fear of looking desperate. The emotional tug of war that comes with today’s dating is exhausting.
I’ve been single long enough to know these games, but that doesn’t mean that I want to play them. There is nothing more vial then people who purposely play with others emotions just because they can. Man up people, it’s okay to like someone, it’s okay not to like someone. It is not okay to act like you like someone and then disappear with no explanation.

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The millennial’s version of “dating” is sad. It’s not our fault, this is how society is training us. Welcome to the new world of confessing our feelings over text and social media, but a real face to face relationship is no longer the norm.
I am not looking for a pen pal do not message me for weeks on end with no intention of meeting IRL.   Don’t ask me to come “watch Netflix and chill”. Don’t text me at 1 a.m. on a Saturday because I won’t be impressed. Don’t expect to get laid, I am not DTF. Let’s keep it simple, try just not being a douche.

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How can anyone find this millennial dating fulfilling?  Meaningless “hangouts”, shallow people, and obsession with finding something better. If so many people are unhappy about this, then let’s force a change.  Let’s start by respecting other people’s feelings. Let’s stop accepting behavior that is the new “norm” and start holding out for behavior that is worthy of us.

 

Check out Online Dating Making Women Want To Stay Single http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/online-dating-making-women-want-to-stay-single/

Until next time….

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

30 Reasons Why Your 30’s Is The Best Time To Be Single!

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

 

By the time you reach your 30’s, most of your friends/family will already be paired off. Many of them will also have children. There is something about hitting your 30’s that makes women panic about not being married. Maybe you feel that you have outdated every other woman in town. Well here is 30 Reasons Why Your 30’s Is The Best Time To Be Single!

 

1. Because 30’s are the new 20’s

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!2. Because this is the time to work on you

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!3. Because you can do whatever you want, whenever you want

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4. Because you didn’t settle

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5. Because you can date anyone you want

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6. Because the best is yet to come

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7. Because you can still have kids – IF YOU WANT

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

8. Because who doesn’t want unlimited friend time?

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

9. Because you don’t have to share a bed

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10. Because your sex life can be whatever you want it to be

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11. Because you can wear whatever you want

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

12. Because you don’t have to shave unless you are getting a pedicure or a massage

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13. Because you don’t have to share-  From dessert to a closet you can be as selfish as you want

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14. Because no one cares as much as you think they do

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15. Because you still have an entire bucket list to check off

16. Because you don’t have to deal with in-laws

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17. Because you like your money

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18. Because men can be children

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

19. Because children change everything

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20. Because you have more time to focus on your career

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

21. Because you know what red flags to look for

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22. Because you are able to date smarter

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23. Because you are no loner afraid of alone time

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

24. Because you do not have to split the holidays

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25. Because you are more confident than you have ever been

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26. Because you don’t have to worry about getting a divorce

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27. Because you can take solo trips

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

28. Because you have time to get in shape

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29. Because you can find new hobbies

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30. Because you can learn to do things you wouldn’t otherwise

30 Reasons Why Your 30's Is The Best Time To Be Single!

It’s a crazy outdated notion that you should be married by 30. Family life can be great and definitely has its merits. But not everyone will be ready for it at the same time, if ever. Whether you’re happy to stay single or are looking forward to eventually meeting your match, this is your time to be independent and love life.

Come check out Why I had to Travel Alone to Find Myself http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/whyihadtotravelalonttofindmyself/

Until next time….

The Dangers of Eyelash Extensions

The Dangers of Eyelash Extensions

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Let’s face it, we as women will spend exorbitant amounts of time and money to be “prettier” and look the way we “should”. Now don’t get me wrong, I myself consider some of the things we put ourselves through to be self care. However, some practices cross a line, especially when they have physical hazards.

Society tell us to look a certain way, and we not only listen but we spent countless hours and a ton of money to do so.

I don’t know about you, but I keep my fingers and toes done at all times. That means going to a salon twice a month for two hours costing about $85. I get Keratin treatment for my hair every 3 months sitting in a salon for about 5 hours. That costs about $200. I also get my hair colored regularly taking about an hour and a half costing about $100. This does not include the occasional facial or all of the products we use.

While getting my nails one day, the woman doing my nails asked if I wanted to get eyelash extensions. I of course said yes, even though I had beautiful eyelashes at the time. I had to schedule a time to come back because it takes about 2 hours for your first set. The cost was insane, but I wanted beautiful long eyelashes that looked great all of the time.

In the very beginning they looked great and I was getting complimented all of the time. I ignored that I was spending a fortune, because I had to get a fill every two weeks. As time went on, and I began to get itchy eyes after getting my fills, I ignored that too. Then the real kicker came, I left the salon and as the day went on, my eyes began to itch terribly and began to swell. I tried taking Benadryl and putting ice packs on me eyes to no avail.

It was time for me to go to the emergency clinic. So while I had to explain to the doctor what happened, quite embarrassed, he looked at me like I was crazy for subjecting myself to the process. He asked me if there was a way to remove them, there wasn’t. Antibiotics and steroids it was. After a few days all symptoms went away and I had my great eyelashes.

Now that I was addicted to my new eyelashes, I stupidly chalked my reaction up to a one time thing, since I had done it for so long without issue. I went back again and the same thing happened. Back to the doctor I went. I was now warned that the reactions would only continue to get worse. Round two antibiotics and steroids.

Now I began to do some online research, and what I found was horrifying. But I can be quite stubborn, so I tried tips from others on how to avoid a reaction. I took Benadryl prior to my eyelash fill, and when I was done. I iced my eyes almost immediately. Finally, I released  I had to stop because IT WAS ONLY GOING TO GET WORSE!

The Dangers of Eyelash Extensions

As time went on I began to lose the last of my extensions. I looked in the mirror and panicked. My real eyelashes had been falling out and were damaged overall. Now I had to figure out how to fix the mess I made.

Back to researching I went. To my surprise there were a few alternatives. Eye lash serum was one. I have begun to use a serum myself. If you wash an old mascara tube well, along with the applicator you can fill it with castor oil and apply nightly. Work with what you have and use an eyelash primer and mascara.

I use Hairgenics Lavish Lash. I put it on right before bed every night (when I remember).

They say to put mascara on while your primer is still wet, but I was told by an Ulta associate to use while primer is still wet. I love this primer!

Fantastic mascara and I love this applicator!

We all want to be beautiful, to be our best, and to fit society’s definition of what we should be. But we must ask ourselves, at what cost to ourselves? In addition to an allergic reaction, you are also putting yourself at risk for bacterial and fungal infections. The cost is just another factor that could persuade women that this is not a good option.

Don’t be stubborn like me. Forget about eyelash extensions and embrace eyelash serums, primer, and mascara. Enjoy spending that $120-$300 on something else to pamper yourself with.

 

Until next time…