What I learned From My Last Breakup

What I learned From My Last Breakup








I had been single for quite a while until recently. In that time I had learned who I am, what I want, and most importantly to love myself. That was a game changer. I was comfortable being single. Having taken the time to learn those things about myself, is what actually allowed me to break off the relationship.

I just recently ended a six week relationship. There were a number of red flags during our brief time together. I was getting a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I probably should have ended things even sooner, but the fact that I did end it as soon as I did was a total win for me.

Where in the past I would ignore these red flags and gut feelings, I didn’t look the other way this time. I ended the relationship. Granted he was extremely nice, had a decent job, and impressed my family. Yet, at the end of the day my stomach was in knots because something just wasn’t right.

So, I ended things. Here is what I learned from my breakup.

I have become to happy with my life to settle.

As much as I hate confrontation, I had to face the situation head on. It was important to be clear, firm, and kind. One of the important things that I learned was that I had to be clear that it was over, firm in not allowing him to get me to give him another chance, and kind so that I didn’t unnecessarily hurt him.

Listen to your gut. While others might say you are being picky, this is why you are alone, or you’re not giving someone a chance, don’t ignore your gut!

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I am forever growing and continuously changing. I want to be defined by my accomplishments and not a relationship status.

For most of my life I have clung to relationships that were completely unhealthy. Thinking that I could “fix” the other person or if I loved them enough it would get better. Being a couple was better than being single, even if it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I learned this kind of thinking is just crazy!

Breaking up is not a reflection of my self worth.

Did Ariana Grande not nail it with her song Thank you, next? Even if every relationship isn’t the best it still teaches you something. Rather than staying angry, look back at the relationship with clear eyes and see what it taught you.

Check out Why it’s great to be single in your 30’s http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/30-reasons-why-your-30s-is-the-best-time-to-be-single/

Until next time…..

25 Top Songs For Singles

25 Top Songs For Singles

25 Top Songs For Singles

Music is an important part of my life. Whether it be a way to express my pain or an escape from the world, music is an outlet for me. It is important to be able to relate to the music that you are listening to. So I wanted to share my favorite songs for singles. Single never sounded so good!

1. Ridin’ Solo – Jason Derulo

2. Bad at Love – Halsey

3. Sorry Not Sorry – Demi Lovato

4. Two Out of Three Ain’t Bad – Meatloaf

5. Echo – Gorilla Zoe

6. Piece of My Heart – Janice Joplin

7. New Rules – Dua Lipa

8. Miserable – LIT

9. Ohio is For Lovers – Hawthorne Heights

10. Maneater – Nelly Furtado

11. Stronger- Brittany Spears

12. You Don’t Own Me – Grace featuring G-Easy

13. Single Ladies – Beyonce

14. He Wasn’t Man Enough For Me – Toni Braxton

15. Hit Em Up Style – Blu Cantrell featuring Foxy Brown

16. I Don’t Wanna Be In Love – Good Charlotte

17. Fighter – Christina Aguilera

18. Tie Me Down – New Boyz

19. Needed Me – Rihanna

20. Nothing Breaks Like A Heart – Mark Ronson featuring Miley Cyrus 

21. Thank you, Next – Ariana Grande 

22. Leave Me Alone – Flipp Dinero 

23. Solo De Mi – Bad Bunny

24. Feeling Myself – Beyonce featuring Nicki Minaj 

25. Born This Way – Lady Gaga 

Come check out my playlist on Spotify.

Come check out my responses to the question Why are you still single? http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/responses-to-the-question-why-are-you-still-single/

Until next time…..

How I Live With Crippling Anxiety

How I Live With Crippling Anxiety

How I Live With Crippling Anxiety

Only those who suffer from anxiety can truly understand how frightening and horrific it is. Suddenly you feel like you cannot breathe, you feel like you need to break open your chest to get some relief, the feeling of crawling out of your skin, breaking out in a sweat, and overwhelming dizziness. Living with anxiety can make you feel crazy and broken. But, you are not! Here is how I live with crippling anxiety.

The scariest thing to do is talk about having anxiety. People are terrified of looking crazy, not perfect, or damaged. Having anxiety doesn’t make you any of those things. And believe it or not, many people around you odds are suffer from anxiety too. It is important to find someone that also suffers from anxiety that you can talk to.

Although many people do not like going to the doctor or taking medication, I have found that it is necessary in helping me to control my anxiety. While, I do not solely depend on medication to deal with my anxiety, it is a big part of keeping it under control.

Another instrumental tool I use in battling my anxiety is exercise. Whether it be just going for a long walk, or going to the gym for an intense work out, excising helps. I can feel the difference when I work out and when I don’t.

Breathing. It sounds easy, I know. But it isn’t always. So, I take a step back and tell myself to breath. Specifically, I try t use the 5-7-9 method of breathing. Inhale for 5 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and exhale for 9 seconds.

Get enough sleep. People make fun of me all of the time because I am almost militant about getting enough sleep. I do not budge on this because I know how important it is to keep my anxiety under control.

My sister actually taught me this one and it works. Multiplication tables. I know it sounds weird but it truly helps. Counting backwards also helps.

Anxiety can be immobilizing. Living with anxiety can seem unbearable, but you can live a normal and happy life with anxiety. You just need to find what works for you.

If you need help check out the Anxiety And Depression Association Of America https://adaa.org/living-with-anxiety

Don’t miss my post on living with mental illness http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/living-with-mental-illness/

How To Celebrate Valentine’s Day When You Are Single

How To Celebrate Valentine's Day When You Are Single

If you are in a relationship on Valentine’s Day, it is a time to remember all of the reasons you are together. It is a cute and happy holiday. However, if you are single you might not be so excited for Valentine’s Day. But being single on Valentine’s Day doesn’t mean you have to lock yourself away or not enjoy the day.
Your mood and outlook about Valentine’s Day is up to you. So choose to enjoy it! Here is a list of things to do on Valentine’s Day when you are single.

1. Sign up for a subscription box. Find something that you love and find a cool subscription box geared towards it. Single swag is one of my favorites! https://www.singlesswag.com/

Another one of my favorites is Ipsy. If you are a makeup lover definitely treat yourself to this! https://www.ipsy.com/new?cid=ppage_ref&sid=link&refer=uog94

Stitch Fix is the absolute best if you are looking to shake up your wardrobe. I have been ordering boxes from them for about 2 years. Spoil yourself for Valentine’s Day. Use this code and get $25 toward your order. https://www.stitchfix.com/referral/danieleschreier?som=c&sod=w

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2. Babysit for a couple who rarely gets a night out. Me? I love being the cool Auntie. Hang out with your nieces and nephews for the evening. I never feel more loved then when I am with those children! 

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3. Throw an Anti Valentine’s Day Party. Take a page out of Jessica Biel’s book from the movie Valentine’s Day. Get together your single friends and have a blast. Surely you are not the only one who is spending Valentine’s Day. Why not make it fun?

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4. Pamper yourself. I myself always love a good massage. A facial or pedicure will do too!

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5. Enjoy an indulgent night in. Light some candles, take a bubble bath, have a glass of wine, and enjoy some chocolate.

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6. Remember all of the reasons you love being single. While you normally love being single, you can get swept up in the loneliness of being alone on Valentine’s Day. DON’T! There are so many things that are awesome about being single. Take a minute to remember them. For example, I love being able to book a trip and get on a plane without checking in with anyone. I love being able to watch Netflix and chill with my dog whenever I want.

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7. Love yourself. Just because you are single (on Valentine’s Day no less) doesn’t mean you are unlovable. You are amazing, remind yourself of that. Above all else practice self-love.

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Single? Taken? Who cares you are awesome! Don’t let Valentine’s Day ruin your day, or even worse make you feel bad about yourself! “To love oneself is the beginning of a lifelong romance.” — Oscar Wilde

Don’t forget to check out another post for Single Women on Valentine’s Day http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/valentines-day-for-single-women/

Responses to the question "Why are you still single"

Responses to the question “Why are you still single”

Responses to the question "Why are you still single"

We all know those people who ask inappropriate questions. When are you going to have kids, why aren’t you two married yet, and wait for it… why are you still single.

First off, let me point out that by using the word still in the question it makes it seem like there is something wrong with being single. That it is a condition that needs to be rectified. Somehow, it makes the question even more offensive.

Yes, the question with or without the word still is inappropriate. Unfortunately it is hard to avoid all nosy and/or rude people. Here are some of my favorite responses to the question why are you still single?

  •  I’m in a passionate love affair with myself. 
  • Not everyone can handle fabulous
  • My bed only has enough room for me and my dogs
  • I don’t know, why are you still married
  • Because I would rather have a significant income than a significant other
  • I’m  just lucky I guess.
  • I’m not single, I’m in a long term relationship with fun and freedom
  • Getting into a relationship seems like a good idea, but so did getting on the Titanic and look at what happened there. 
  • I’m single at heart
  • Because no company is better than bad company.

Now, remember as annoyed as we singles are by this question, rarely does the person asking mean any harm. Odds are they do not even realize that they are being rude. The important thing is to not let it bother you. Being single is amazing and liberating! Revel in your freedom.

Check out Celebrities Talk Single Life And Why They Love It http://Check out Celeberties Talk Single Life And Why They Love It

Dear Mr Creepy

Dear Mr Creepy

Dear Mr Creepy

Dear Mr Creepy, 

While I’m sure your intentions are good (in your mind) you are really being creepy. I mean making my skin crawl creepy. Have you ever stopped to think that this creepy behavior is exactly why you are single?

Yes no one wants a total douche bag. However women also don’t want a man who suffocates them, who we can walk all over, or who makes us physically uncomfortable. Here are several things that you should NEVER do.

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Run into her one to many creepy times.

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Unceasingly Complimenting her.

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Finding and following her on ALL of her social media accounts.

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Once finding her on those accounts, going back and liking every photo.

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Mentioning love, marriage, and/or children very early on.

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Being exceedingly attentive. (Attentiveness is great, but texting constantly, asking where a woman is/was and who she is/was with comes across as clingy and insecure).

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Ignoring obvious cues that a woman IS NOT interested.

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Continuing to pursue a woman who has finally told you she is not interested.

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While we all probably do creepy things sometimes, I do not believe we do it intentionally. The last thing any normal guy should want is to be known as that creepy guy. So let me help you to not be that creepy guy.

Listen Mr Creepy, you can be nice without being a total creepster. What you may think of as caring and sweet, might be making women run for the hills. Take a step back and ask yourself if your behavior is stalkerish. Now, by no means am I saying to be an asshole. There is a big difference between being nice, creepy, and an asshole.

Check out Online Dating Making Women Want To Stay Single for more creepy things that men do. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/online-dating-making-women-want-to-stay-single/

Until next time…

New Years Resolutions For Singles

New Years Resolutions For Singles

New Years Resolutions For Singles

The new year is a time we all reflect on the past year. It is also a time that we look ahead and make goals for the year to come. I always find myself excited and hopeful about my upcoming year. I believe that it is truly important to focus on bettering myself and my life rather than focusing on how to find that “special someone”.  Here are New Year’s Resolutions for singles that will help you to  discover yourself  and better your life.

 

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Make a commitment to your personal self-improvement.
Have you been wanting to learn a new language? Is there a kickboxing class you have wanted to try? Make realistic goals about health, fitness, mental and emotional self-improvement and follow through on them.

Get out of your comfort zone
This New Year get out of your comfort zone. Make a conscious effort to say yes to trying new things and opening up to new opportunities.  Whether it be trying a new food or taking a class by yourself, Go for it! I have learned that the more I get out of my comfort zone the more I find things that I love.

Have a better attitude
It is easy to become bitter and pessimistic during the holidays, especially when you are single. Heading into the New Year being single, is the perfect time to be happy and optimistic about the upcoming year and all of the possibilities that it can bring. When you are bogged down with negative thoughts and expectations you are your own worst enemy. Don’t let your negativity become a self-fulfilling prophesy. 

Smile More Often

As we move through life, we can get distracted, overwhelmed, and just plain busy. Stop and take a second to smile. Not only will smiling more actually make you happier, it will positively affect those around you. As for yourself, smiling actually releases endorphins. This means you will physically feel the effects of smiling more!

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Take care of yourself

When looking at the year ahead, don’t let self care fall by the way side. I know we can get busy and overwhelmed, even by our own goals. Self-care is a must for everyone! Make a promise to yourself to take the time to practice self-care in the upcoming year. Whether it is getting a massage regularly or something as simple as going to bed a little bit earlier, this might be one of your most important resolutions!

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Leave the Past in the Past
Leaving the past in the past is something I really struggle with. I also know that this will be a resolution that I work on most. By no means am I saying that you have to forgive and forget. I am saying that in order to be healthy and happy for me I know I must stop focusing on the past and look on making a better future and living in the moment. Whether you hold anger, animosity, or resentment toward others, or you hold guilt for yourself, it is time to leave the past in the past.

There are far better things ahead than we leave in the past

C.S. Lewis

No matter what your New Year’s resolutions are, make sure they make your life better. Make yourself a promise to be a healthier and happier you! Happy New Year to you all.

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Until next time…..

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year's Eve Is The Best

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year’s Eve Is The Best

7 Reasons Why Being Single On New Year's Eve Is The Best

Embrace bringing in the New Year Solo! 

To all of my fellow singles: You have almost survived the holiday season! You are nearly done being grilled by family, friends, and co-workers over your single status. Last up? Ringing in the New Year flying solo. Many singles anguish over being single on New Year’s Eve. Why? Bringing in the New Year solo can be amazing. You can make it anything you want. 

New Year’s Eve is synonymous with PARTY! Who knows how to party better than us singles? Live it up and party like a rock star. 

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Not the party type? That’s okay too! You don’t have to fight with anyone about staying in. It’s completely up to you! Plan an awesome night in, and don’t worry about fighting with anyone about being able to stay home. 

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Forget about agonizing over the perfect New Year’s Eve with your partner. No need for high expectations (declarations of love, marriage proposals, invites to move in, etc.). You don’t have to put pressure on yourself to have that movie perfect romantic midnight kiss. 

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You can kiss whomever you want at midnight. Your best friend, sister, mom, your dog, ANYONE! That includes the hot stranger at the bar/club. 

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2019 will be your year! You don’t have to worry if you and your partners resolutions match up, torturing yourself on what milestones you need to hit this year as a couple. Plan what things you want to knock off your bucket list, how you can improve your quality of life, decide what you will do differently to be happier. 

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There is no rush. “Take as long as you want to get ready. You don’t have a significant other impatiently waiting for you. No one telling you you are taking to long. 

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You can dance all night long! I don’t know about you but I have dated some guys who hated to dance. What a buzz kill. You are single and can dance all night without a care in the world, enjoy it. 

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Whether you plan to ring in the New Year dressed to the nines partying like it’s 1999, or enjoying the night at home with delivery and pajamas, have a blast ringing in the New Year solo. 

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Until next time……
5 Ways Not To Be Used

5 Ways Not To Be Used

5 Ways Not To Be Used

Nothing hurts more than when we have put ourselves out there, only to find out we’ve been being used. The person who is using us definitely sucks as a human being, but did we set ourselves up for failure? There are things that we can do to help prevent someone from using us. Here are 5 ways not to be used.

1) Believe in patterns not apologies. We have all heard the old adage actions speak louder than words. It is sooo true! If someones actions hurt you, makes you question yourself, or make you feel more lonely than if you were alone, do not keep that person in your life!

2) Don’t fall in love with potential. People are who they are. We as women especially, can fall in love with someone’s potential. Remember a leopard doesn’t change it’s spots. You cannot excpect someone to change or be better.

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3) Believe in red flags. Trust your gut! Also trust the people who love you! If the people closest to you take issue with someone in your life, remember these are your ride or die’s. They are not trying to harm you, but protect you.

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4) Know your worth. If you undervalue yourself, it makes it easier for others to do the same. Know how valuable, amazing, and special you are! Do not ever let anyone make you forget it.

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5) Don’t lower your standards. Never lower your standards for anyone. No one is worth that sacrifice.

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At the end of the day, we cannot control the actions of others. We cannot blame ourselves for their behavior. But we can safeguard ourselves from being mistreated.

Until next time………

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas when you’re single can be emotionally draining and difficult. Whether it is not wanting to show up single to events or dealing with nosy people. Which is why I’ve compiled a guide to getting through the Christmas season solo.

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First off, don’t overlook all of the benefits of being single during the Christmas season. There is no agonizing over what to but your partner, and better yet you don’t have to spend the money. Then there is the relief of not having to figure out or argue about how to split your time among the families. Best of all, you do not have to deal with the craziness of a family that is not yours!

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Having to walk into any big gathering during Christmas, whether it be a company party, or a relatives house can be daunting to say the least. You might feel like the entire room is staring at you, like some kind of spectacle. Let me tell you something, people are paying a lot less attention to you than you think. The secret is to let go and just enjoy yourself. More importantly let others enjoy you! Oh and there’s alway alcohol!

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Odds are you won’t be the only single person at these events. If you feel like you will be the only single person there, change it! Invite a friend to tag along.

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Have a comeback ready for nosy people, whether they be friends, family, or strangers. When questioning you on your love life or lack there off, remember, they are odds are not trying to be hurtful. Now of course there are some who might be, keep in mind if that is the case then they must be pretty miserable themselves. You can either answer in earnest (I haven’t found the right person yet) or in humor (I decided I didn’t want to spend a fortune on gifts this year).

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Try doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Sure, you can take all of that money you are saving on gifts and spend it on yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, or pedicure. Or even better, volunteer. It is the season for giving. Not only will you be helping others, but you will automatically feel batter about yourself as well!

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Whatever you do DO NOT wallow! If you allow yourself to indulge in that negative behavior, nothing good will come of it. It will only get worse and you will find yourself on an ugly downward spiral. Plus, you don’t want people to pity you, you are to awesome for that!

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Being single is a relationship status, not a death sentence.

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So don’t freak out and don’t be a Grinch! Enjoy Christmas and your freedom to enjoy it however, wherever, and whenever you want!!

 

Until next time….