Tips For Getting a Good Night’s Sleep After a Breakup

I am so excited to share this guest post with you. Christine Huegel is going to share with us how to get a good night’s sleep after a breakup.

Tips For Getting a Good Night's Sleep After a Break Up
Christine Huegel
Tips For Getting a Good Night's Sleep After a Break Up

Anyone who has ever been through a breakup knows that they can be pretty rough. Whether it came by surprise or it was something you’d been preparing for, breaking the close, emotional bond you had developed with your ex can be both mentally and physically devastating. While breakups are typically for the best, you will have to cope with the pain of a broken heart and feelings of loneliness, longing, and possibly even anger. In addition, the difficult emotions that come along with breakups often take a toll on one’s physical health.

Post-breakup insomnia

One health issue that many experience after a breakup is known as “post-breakup insomnia.” Unfortunately, post-breakup insomnia is a condition that is often detrimental to one’s overall health and wellbeing. Without the proper amount of sleep, our bodies are unable to undergo the restorative processes required for healthy emotional regulation and proper organ functioning. After a break up, your emotions are already out of whack – so, when you add sleep deprivation into the mix, you’re body is simply unable to regulate and combat all those negative emotions. This lack of sleep can lead to increased feelings of anxiety and depression and make moving on from the split feel impossible. Meanwhile, the emotional strain of a breakup coupled with the effects of insomnia can cause you to push away the people you love and become isolated from your support group. Aside from elevated feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness, not receiving enough sleep can also impact your performance at work or school – which can cause a host of separate issues in your life.

How to get a good night’s sleep after the split

Overall, achieving a healthy sleep cycle after a breakup can be the key to moving on and starting the next chapter of your life. Following these tips will help prevent post-breakup insomnia and ensure that you get a clean start:

Start meditating.

Meditation is an incredibly useful tool to deal with any of the stressors life throws your way, especially breakups, because it re-trains your mind and body. Through controlled breathing and the repetition of mantras, meditation alters the way your body responds to stress. Practicing this powerful therapy before bed will calm your thoughts, create an inner-quiet, and allow you to fall asleep faster.

Start a before-bed gratitude journal.

The negative thoughts and emotions of a breakup can sneak up at the end of the night and prevent you from falling asleep. Starting a bedtime gratitude journal will allow you to change those negative thought patterns into positive ones and get a peaceful night’s rest. We recommend that you write down three things you are grateful for and one reason you are special in your journal every night at bedtime.

Find someone to talk to.

Breakups can be traumatic – and they can cause us more pain than we realize. Therapy, whether in a group or one-on-one with a counselor, will provide you with the tools you need to move past the emotional damage experienced in a breakup.

Try aromatherapy at bedtime.

Studies have found that certain essential oils encourage sleep. In addition, essential oils have also been shown to improve mood and dampen the effects of stress and anxiety. Try putting the following oils in your diffuser at bedtime to help reduce stress and promote sleep:

  • Lavender
  • Cedarwood
  • Chamomile
  • Lemon Balm

Although breakup-related insomnia is an issue that many face, it doesn’t mean that it’s inevitable. Listening to your body, focusing on your inner peace, and making your health a priority will allow you to achieve a beneficial nights sleep on a regular basis. And, eventually, this breakup will become part of your past and you will move on with your life. Distance and time will allow your wounds to heal and you will begin a new, more promising chapter of life.

Well I hope you enjoyed our first guest post. And hopefully you’ve learned some great tricks to a good night’s sleep after a breakup.

If you loved Tips On How To Get A Good Night’s Sleep After A Breakup, hopefully you’ll love this. Stop by and check out What I Learned From My Last Breakup http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/what-i-learned-from-my-last-breakup/

LET'S TALK ABOUT GREEN FLAGS

LET’S TALK ABOUT GREEN FLAGS

LET'S TALK ABOUT GREEN FLAGS

We are always talking about what to look out for as far as red flags. Let’s talk about green flags. Don’t get so distracted looking for red flags that you overlook green flags.

No relationship is perfect and no matter how amazing someone is they will still do things we don’t like. How they react when we talk to them about that behavior is what’s important. There are several behaviors that are green flags. Let’s discuss a few of these green flags.

1. Being able to acknowledge and apologize when they are wrong – none of us really like to admit that we are wrong. Being able to admit it and sincerely apologize is crucial for a healthy relationship.
2. Able to use a calm tone of voice when fighting – Yelling and screaming is not a great way to communicate. It is also a terrible way to try to get your point across. Disagreements are a part of all relationships. Being able to discuss the issue calmly is a great attribute.
3. Listens when you talk – Whether it is something that affects them directly or just something that you like, having your partner listen to you is crucial to a strong relationship.
4. Supporting you – Whether it be supporting your ambitions or supporting you through something you are dealing with, support is something we all need.

5. Never puts you down – I don’t care if it is in public or in private. Putting your significant other down is not acceptable. That is definitely red flag behavior.

6. Compromises – I’m not talking about allowing you to walk all over them, but compromising when necessary.

Basically, we all know what red flag behavior is. So lets keep our eyes open for green flag behavior. When you do find it, that is the one you don’t want to lose. Bottom line you want to end up with someone who treats you right and helps you to be a better person.

Check out Is Past Hurt Robbing You Of Happiness http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/is-past-hurt-robbing-you-of-happiness/

IS PAST HURT ROBBING YOU OF HAPPINESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

IS PAST HURT ROBBING YOU OF HAPPINESS

IS PAST HURT ROBBING YOU OF HAPPINESS IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP

We’ve all been hurt in life, had our egos bruised, hearts broken, and maybe having to second guess our views on love in general. Some of us have been hurt worse then others. We all deal with that hurt differently. I put up walls that almost no one could get through, didn’t trust anyone, and was pretty jaded. Having been hurt in relationships before made me guarded. 

I am truly blessed to have a boyfriend who saw my behavior for what it was, a defense mechanism. He didn’t run, instead he told me I wouldn’t scare him off. One by one I began to shed my defenses and let him in.

One of the hardest things to do is to let down our armor and let people see us. To let ourselves be vulnerable. To take a chance once we’ve already been burned. But if you don’t then you will never be able to be in a happy healthy relationship.

Being hurt in relationships is a part of life. Past hurts are not limited to relationships, they can also include hurt from our childhoods. Past hurts don’t have to rob us of happiness in our current relationships. In fact they can actually lead to stronger and healthier relationships.

One of the most important things I did in this relationship is be honest about my past hurts. Now I don’t mean that as soon as we started dating I spewed out all of my most embarrassing issues that hurt me in the past. But I did communicate to my boyfriend that I was in an abusive relationship towards the beginning so that he would have an understanding of some of my behaviors. Now, I try to let him know when a situation makes me think of the past.

Loving yourself is so important. Not only can it keep the past from happening again, it can change how you handle situations. Part of loving yourself is changing the way you talk to yourself. This can help the way you interact with your significant other.

Get rid of fight or flight. Stay and calmly work through whatever is going on. All relationships will get tough. Avoidance and fighting are both bad options. If you truly want to make the relationship work, you will have to take a deep breath and don’t give up.

It’s okay to forgive and to forgive readily. You do not lose anything by forgiving someone that you love.

My boyfriend has patiently taught me that my vulnerabilities are not something that I need to be ashamed of. You shouldn’t hide your vulnerabilities, they are part of you. He has also shown me that I do not have to be perfect to be loved. Luckily my boyfriend also encourages me to be myself. All of these things have helped me to not allow my past hurts to hinder our relationship.

Use your friends for guidance and support. When I know that I am taking something from my past out on my boyfriend, I call my best friend and she talks it through with me. Close friends can really help you talk through the situation with you so that you don’t allow the hurt from teh past to control your future.

In my case what had caused the majority of my hurt was abusive behavior. It is easy to run to what is known because it is what is comfortable. Working on a new and healthy relationship can be awkward. You might not know how to react to something that is new and so good. Breathe through it. It is possible to let go of past hurts and be in a happy and healthy relationship.

Check out this awesome video about letting go of your past

Also one website that has helped me tremendously is https://www.sanityandself.com/

Come check out How To Let Someone Love you http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/how-to-let-someone-love-you/

How Not To Lose Yourself When In A Relationship

How Not To Lose Yourself In A New Relationship

Maintaining a strong sense of self when in a relationship is so important to your own personal health and the health of your relationship. This is something I have just recently come to learn. For the first time in my life it is also something that I have been able to put into practice.

It doesn’t matter if you’ve been married for years or are newly in a relationship, loss of self can happen through out a relationship. Falling in love is new and exciting. It is easy to get wrapped up and forget about you instead of we.

Making yourself a priority when you are in a relationship isn’t selfish, it’s imperative to not losing one’s self. That doesn’t meant that you do not make your partner a priority as well, but you can put you first without being self-centered.

DO NOT LET SPENDING QUALITY TIME WITH YOUR BESTIES FALL TO THE WAY SIDE!

How Not To Lose Yourself When In A Relationship

Spending time with amazing friends in Maui.

Your besties are your support group, your sounding board, and so much more. Your besties will also always be there for you, you don’t break up with or divorce your besties. Never stop spending time with them just because you are in a relationship.

DO NOT FORGET ABOUT YOUR FAMILY.

How Not To Lose Yourself When In A Relationship

Ladies night out with my sister and mom.

Even though your family may drive you crazy they will always be there for you. Don’t forget about them just because you are in a relationship.

DO NOT GIVE UP ON YOUR HOBBIES.

How Not To Lose Yourself When In A Relationship

Travel is my passion. This is me on a beach in Maui.

Falling in love is exiting and fabulous. Being in a relationship is great. You still need to make sure that you do not lose yourself in the relationship. Finding balance in life is about choosing priorities. Don’t forget to make yourself a priority.

Don’t forget to check out Fabulously In The Middle http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/fabulously-in-the-middle/

Fabulously In The Middle

Fabulously In The Middle
Once you love yourself, you will be ready for someone else to love you

So for all of my amazing followers, I started Fabulously Single when I began a journey of self discovery. I truly took time to discover who I am, to heal, and to grow as a person. While my journey is far from over, I have met an amazing man. This doesn’t mean that I will disappear into coupledom. It does mean that I need to figure out how to keep my independence while sharing myself with this great guy.

We’ve been dating for four months. So, while yes I have a boyfriend, I am not married or engaged. Hence, fabulously in the middle. I am going to continue working on myself, healing, and growing more confident.

One thing I have learned about myself in my time being single is that I often lose myself when in a relationship. So, I have made a conscious effort to make sure that doesn’t happen this time. It is definitely a balancing act. Finding the right mix of personal time, time with my family and friends, and time to grow as a couple.

Just having got back from Hawaii, Maui to be exact I really had some time to think about being fabulously in the middle. I planned this trip with a group of friends before I met my boyfriend. I went on the trip without him. I had an amazing time with my friends, tested my boundaries, and continued to grow. While I’m not saying I would not have enjoyed having my boyfriend there, I am saying that I am making a conscious effort to have me time and keep a healthy balance.

Don’t worry, I will still be writing. My upcoming blog is about how not to lose yourself in a relationship. Dating doesn’t have to be all encompassing. It is important to enjoy being fabulously in the middle. At the end of the day remember it is you who needs to love yourself and bring you happiness.

Check out How To Let Someone Love You http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/blogs/


Check out this awesome self care workbook https://www.etsy.com/FabulouslysingleCo/listing/719429686/self-care-workbook?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1568301663177

How To Let Someone Love You

How To Let Someone Love You

How To Let Someone Love You

Having experienced some very bad breakups and even some not so great friendships, I have built some serious walls. My default mode is to push people away. I have had to make a conscious effort to let people in and more specifically to let people love me.

Moreover

I never fully felt like I deserved a healthy relationship or partner.

When ever someone got to close I would fight, flee, or freeze. I have been dating an amazing guy who is nice beyond belief. In the beginning I would literally feel like I was choking because I didn’t know how to accept his kindness and affection. My sister gave me some great advice. Just breathe through it.

Step one is actually very easy. Admit what you really want. Do not allow fear of being hurt or embarrassed stop you. A very good friend of mine would always tell me that a healthy relationship is what I really wanted. My own securities kept me from admitting that. (Until I met someone who was really a good guy and made me feel comfortable to admit it.)

Recognize your patterns. Personally, I know that I would push away anyone who was “to nice” or anyone who had their s*** together. As a result I also would find things wrong with men that I dated if I thought they were getting to close.

Communicate. Let the other person know you are struggling. Let them help you. If the person is worth it they will not judge you but love you through it.

Understand that dysfunction doesn’t equal love.

As uncomfortable as it is work on yourself. Build your confidence and self worth. You need to consider yourself worthy of being loved.

Letting go of past hurts and trauma can feel impossible. However it is necessary not only to you healing but to allowing someone to love you.

Real talk it does get easier but it hasn’t completely gone away. I still struggle with it. Luckily for me the guy I am dating is patient and kind. Also I have an amazing group of friends that know me and help me get through it without sabotaging things.

Come Check out How I found My Self Worth http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/finding-my-self-worth/

Love will always be a risk.  All things considered, it is worth it though. Living not allowing anyone to love you is a very lonely life. So take a deep breath… … and then have the courage to allow yourself to be loved.

breadcrumbing dating

How to Handle Being Breadcrumbed

How to Handle Being Breadcrumbed

This new digital age of dating is awful! First ghosting, now breadcrumbing, what’s next? So many ways of digital rejection. So first if you don’t know what this is, check out Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn’t Bad Enough.

http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/breadcrumbing-because-ghosting-wasnt-bad-enough/

HOW TO HANDLE BEING BREADCRUMBED 

1.) Don’t make excuses or justify their behavior – You need to believe in their patterns not their apologies. If a man isn’t in a diaper, you can’t change him.

via GIPHY

2.) Don’t take the blame. There is nothing wrong with you! And regardless of what they say or how they make you feel you did nothing to illicit their behavior.

How to Handle Being Breadcrumbed

3.) Call out there behavior. it probably won’t make a difference, but it will make you feel better. also, I believe that the more we call them out, the higher chance they will stop their shitty behavior.

via GIPHY

4.) Stop Responding. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. When you do this they will probably make an effort to show you more attention. Don’t fall for it.

via GIPHY

Know your worth. Don’t waste your time on someone who is just stringing you along. The signs are there, and you can usually see them rather quickly. You are much better off being single than being taken advantage of.

Breadcrumbing like ghosting is savage AF. At the end of the day you are lucking out because breadcrumbers are either lonely, fearful of being alone,  sadistic, or simply selfish. Who want’s that kind of POS in their life? Believe the red flags, they are real.

Don’t forget to check out How To Know When Someone Is Breadcrumbing you. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/how-to-know-when-someone-is-breadcrumbing-you/

Looking for some self love, self care, or balance in your life? Check out Fabulously Single on Etsy https://www.etsy.com/shop/FabulouslysingleCo?ref=seller-platform-mcnav