Dating today can feel like walking through a mine field. Whether it is online dating or IRL dating can be confusing and anxiety producing, especially the first date. Well here are some timeless tips to make it easier. Here are 10 First Date Tips For Women.
1. Be yourself and Relax.Easier said than done, I know. Don’t put pressure on yourself to be something you are not. Don’t try to be the version of yourself you wish you were. He is here because he sees something in the real you.
2. Dress appropriately And attractively. First impressions matter! Wear something that makes you feel confident and truly great about yourself. Don’t wear something that will make you physically uncomfortable like heals to the beach. Make him work for it, don’t wear something that is going to reveal all of your goods (don’t dress to revealing). Just as dressing overly sexy can be an issue, not looking date-ready at all can also be a turnoff.
4. Turn the volume off on your phone. You do not want your alerts, texts, or calls to distract either of you from the date. Do not keep checking your phone either. Yes, use it to check in and let someone know where you are and that you are okay, otherwise leave your phone alone.
5. Let him lead and cut him some slack. Let him pay, open doors, pull out your chair. (Yes, I’m old school). Remember that he’s likely nervous and is trying to figure out first-date rules, too. So if he is faltering help him out.
6.Have a code word. I know it sounds crazy but that is the world we live in. Don’t just text I’m alive, fine, blah, blah, blah. Have a code word for being okay so your loved ones really know it is you sending the message. Don’t let yourself get stuck with a certified creeper.
7. Be present. Show interest in your date and be an active listener. Nothing is going to be a bigger turn off than a girl who is completely distracted on the first date. Engage him in conversation, without making it all about you.
8. Address the elephant in the room. If something is making you uncomfortable, speak up. Awkward silence, your mind goes blank, wish you hadn’t just said something that flew out of your mouth? Speak up. Not only will you feel better, you will make him more comfortable, too.
9. Establish boundaries. Boundaries include oversharing and physical boundaries. Don’t overshare, this is only the first date. If it is meant to be you will have plenty of time to share. Establish physical boundaries. If you want more than a one night stand sex on the first date is not a good idea.
10. Don’t drink too much. One drink is fine, maybe two at the most. Don’t drink too much because you don’t want to look sloppy. More importantly you don’t want to put yourself in a dangerous situation. Don’t forget this is a stranger.
This new digital age of dating is awful! First ghosting, now breadcrumbing, what’s next? So many ways of digital rejection. So first if you don’t know what this is, check out Breadcrumbing Because Ghosting Wasn’t Bad Enough.
2.) Don’t take the blame. There is nothing wrong with you! And regardless of what they say or how they make you feel you did nothing to illicit their behavior.
3.) Call out there behavior. it probably won’t make a difference, but it will make you feel better. also, I believe that the more we call them out, the higher chance they will stop their shitty behavior.
4.) Stop Responding. the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again, expecting a different result. When you do this they will probably make an effort to show you more attention. Don’t fall for it.
Know your worth. Don’t waste your time on someone who is just stringing you along. The signs are there, and you can usually see them rather quickly. You are much better off being single than being taken advantage of.
Breadcrumbing like ghosting is savage AF. At the end of the day you are lucking out because breadcrumbers are either lonely, fearful of being alone, sadistic, or simply selfish. Who want’s that kind of POS in their life? Believe the red flags, they are real.
Before you can deal with being breadcrumbed, you need to realize that you are being breadcrumbed. There are clear signs when someone is just stringing you along. You just need to be confident enough and love yourself enough to see them.
Short texts – When someone is really interested in you they make an effort. If they are being lazy in the beginning stages and can’t even make an effort when texting you that is a red flag. Now sometimes people are really just busy, but if it is a continual thing, there is a problem.
You have been messaging for weeks but haven’t met IRL – You have been texting for weeks but they haven’t made an effort to actually meet. While the suspense might heighten your desire, it says something about that person. It also tells you that you are not a priority.
Something always comes up – You finally make plans to meet but they can’t make it because something came up. Now this is real life and things do come up. But if this happens more than once, major red flag.
Sexting – If all they want to do is sext. Or, if they want to sext before you even meet. RED FLAG! Don’t get me wrong I’ve got nothing against sexting, but it is usually clear when that is all someone wants.
Being breadcrumbed sucks! No one enjoys being used and/or their emotions played with. The best thing to do is to watch out for the signs and to get out early. Not all attention is good attention. Let the other person know you are too good for their games.
At least when having been ghosted, you know that there is no hope because the person is gone. Well there is a new phenomenon called breadcrumbing, which you don’t really know what to think. According to Urban Dictionary, breadcrumbing is”When the “crush” has no intentions of taking things further, but they like the attention. So they flirt here or there, send dm/texts just to keep the person interested, knowing damn well they’re staying single.”
I was recently breadcrumbed for about two weeks, not realizing what was happening. The last time he blew me off I called him out on it. He gave a lame apology, expecting me to jump on it. I didn’t respond. I never heard from him again. This from a 42 year old “man”. A “man” I texted with from first thing in the morning until I fell asleep at night. So I did what any person with self respect would do.
So whether it be a person who is narcissistic, seeking constant validation and attention even if they have no intention to commit to anyone. Or, a person who may just want to keep all of their options open, always looking for something better. You need to realize the game and get out! These selfish and inadequate people are not something you need in your life. Tell them to:
At the end of the day, of course it hurts to have been breadcrumbed. But just think, you actually lucked out. You avoided getting involved with a self involved, selfish, emotionally void person. You will continue to be fabulous, and they will continue to be emotionally empty. Celebrate your fabulous self and be grateful.
In this new digital world of dating, well let’s face it digital way of living, people feel free to act in ways they wouldn’t normally IRL. Whether it be sending naked photos to strangers, bullying, or ghosting. Ghosting, in case you have been living under a rock is when someone you have been “talking to” or dating simply vanishes without a word.
I was recently ghosted by a 42 year old man we will refer to as Starbucks Matthew. I don’t feel the need to hold back when it comes to shitheads so I let him know he was my inspiration for this.
Is there anything really more cowardly or cruel than making someone think that things are going great, and then just disappearing? No goodbye, no explanation, no reason, just poof gone. Not even the decency to muster up the lame ass it’s not you, it’s me.And why not? Odds are you will never have to face the ghosted party again. We live in a society where you meet online and no longer through acquaintances of other IRL scenarios.
How easy it is to treat people so shitty when there is no accountability. Cowardliness is the new norm. There is no one to confront the ghosters, so they have no shame in their behavior. No one deserves to sit around and wonder what the f*** they did, because someone else decides to be a piece of shit. It seems that in this new society manners, etiquette, and hell, human decency are dying at an alarming rate.
If you are single in this brave new world, odds are you will be ghosted at least once if you haven’t already. It’s very easy to say don’t take it personally, it’s not you, it’s them. Well, duh, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t hurt like hell. Let’s try something new though. Let’s use our pain to reflect on how we treat others in this new world and do better.
Stay tuned for Tips On How To Handle Being Ghosted.
Everyone is a commitmentphobe talking to multiple people at all times. People are so busy looking for something better, that they don’t build a relationship with anyone. Most dating is online instead of IRL, which is awkward and tedious. In this new digital age of communication, it is as if people no longer know how to truly interact with others in a meaningful way.
How can you ever make a real connection when you are battling cat fishers, competing with endless other people, ghosting, and countless other insanities. You have to be prepared for the ceaseless stream of first date interviews (sometimes worse than an actual job interview), most over obligatory coffee. Even if you battle through and ace your first date, that is where the real games begin.
People don’t date anymore, they hang out. They text at midnight seeing who will respond. They play games. Well, we had a great date now I can’t text for three days. They get a text that makes them smile, but put the phone down because they can’t respond to quickly, in fear of looking desperate. The emotional tug of war that comes with today’s dating is exhausting.
I’ve been single long enough to know these games, but that doesn’t mean that I want to play them. There is nothing more vial then people who purposely play with others emotions just because they can. Man up people, it’s okay to like someone, it’s okay not to like someone. It is not okay to act like you like someone and then disappear with no explanation.
The millennial’s version of “dating” is sad. It’s not our fault, this is how society is training us. Welcome to the new world of confessing our feelings over text and social media, but a real face to face relationship is no longer the norm.
I am not looking for a pen pal do not message me for weeks on end with no intention of meeting IRL. Don’t ask me to come “watch Netflix and chill”. Don’t text me at 1 a.m. on a Saturday because I won’t be impressed. Don’t expect to get laid, I am not DTF. Let’s keep it simple, try just not being a douche.
How can anyone find this millennial dating fulfilling? Meaningless “hangouts”, shallow people, and obsession with finding something better. If so many people are unhappy about this, then let’s force a change. Let’s start by respecting other people’s feelings. Let’s stop accepting behavior that is the new “norm” and start holding out for behavior that is worthy of us.
By the time you reach your 30’s, most of your friends/family will already be paired off. Many of them will also have children. There is something about hitting your 30’s that makes women panic about not being married. Maybe you feel that you have outdated every other woman in town. Well here is 30 Reasons Why Your 30’s Is The Best Time To Be Single!
1. Because 30’s are the new 20’s
2. Because this is the time to work on you
3. Because you can do whatever you want, whenever you want
30. Because you can learn to do things you wouldn’t otherwise
It’s a crazy outdated notion that you should be married by 30. Family life can be great and definitely has its merits. But not everyone will be ready for it at the same time, if ever. Whether you’re happy to stay single or are looking forward to eventually meeting your match, this is your time to be independent and love life.
Not 100% happy being single? Feel alone that you enjoy being single? Listen to these bad ass babes slaying it with their outlooks on single life. These celebrity’s points of view on single life are inspiring. After reading them you will be emboldened to step up your game on living single! With society being love/relationship obsessed, it is quite refreshing to see these strong, amazing, successful women share why they love being single.
“Guys need attention. They need that nourishment, that little stroke of the ego that gets them by every now and then. I’ll give it to my family, I’ll give it to my work — but I will not give it to a man right now.” Preach Rihanna!
Drew Barrymore wrote in her book, Wildflower.”It’s ironic that we rush through Being ‘single’ as if it’s some disease or malady to get rid of or overcome. The truth is, most likely, one day you will meet someone and it will be gone,” “And once it’s gone, it’s really gone! Why does no one tell us how important it is to enjoy being single and being by yourself?” Truer words have never been spoken! Relish in your singledom!
“Without single women and their impressive sense of self, we’d be without Queen Elizabeth I, Marie-Sophie Germain, Susan B. Anthony, Florence Nightingale, Jane Austen, Harper Lee, Diane Keaton, Greta Garbo, Jane Goodall and me, myself and I,” Chelsea Handler wrote in an excellent article for Time. “Being single is delightfully more than it’s cracked up to be… if you can stand the horror of your own company, that is.” Learning to love your own company is one of the best things you can do for yourself.
“The man for me is the cherry on the pie. But I’m the pie and my pie is good all by itself. Even if I don’t have a cherry.” Hell yes! This is one of my favorites.
“I remember when I was young I honestly believed in some ridiculous way that you would find someone who would be the person you lived with until you died,”. “I don’t think that because I’m not married it’s made my life any less. That old maid myth is garbage.” Yes!!
Mindy Kaling told Good Housekeeping “I don’t need marriage,” in 2015. “I don’t need anyone to take care of all my needs and desires. I can take care of them myself now.” One of the greatest lessons women should learn.
“Being alone is not the same as being lonely. I like to do things that glorify being alone,” “I buy a candle that smells pretty, turn down the lights and make a playlist of low-key songs. If you don’t act like you’ve been hit by the plague when you’re alone on a Friday night, and just see it as a chance to have fun by yourself, it’s not a bad day.” I have felt more alone in certain relationships than I have ever felt being single.
“I had the full princess fantasy: the white horse, the whole being saved from my life, which is ridiculous. What do I want to be saved from? My life’s great! But it’s just this weird thing that’s been hammered into my head culturally: that’s the only way to succeed, that’s the only thing that counts for a woman. I’m happy, but the fact that I’m not married and don’t have kids— it’s taken me a long time to get to a place where I actually am OK with that, where I actually don’t feel like I’m some sort of loser.” You rock Rashida! I felt so uncomfortable being single and not having kids for so long. Now I am confident in myself and my life!
“We are complete with or without a mate, with or without a child. We get to decide for ourselves what is beautiful when it comes to our bodies. That decision is ours and ours alone,” Absolutely! Women are made to feel incomplete without a significant other and that is ridiculous. You are always enough!
“Most women would not be happy being me,” “People say, ‘But you’re alone.’ But I don’t feel alone. I feel very un-alone. I feel very sparkly and excited about everything. I know women who are going, like, ‘I don’t want to grow old alone.’ And I’m like, ‘See, that doesn’t scare me.’ Because I’ll never be alone. I’ll always be surrounded by people. I’m like the crystal ball and these are all the rings of Saturn around me… My generation fought very hard for feminism, and we fought very hard to not be labeled as you had to have a husband or you had to be in a relationship, or you were somehow not a cool chick.” I don’t know about you, but I know that I will never be alone because of the amazing people in my life! Therefore, surround yourself with amazing friends and family and you will never be alone.
“It sounds like a cliché but I also learnt that you’re not going to fall for the right person until you really love yourself and feel good about how you are,” I 100% agree with this! How can you except to have a great relationship with someone if you don’t have a great relationship with yourself.
“I don’t think you can really, truly be the partner you want to be until you know on an absolute level that you are a complete person on your own. I think that’s something all women deserve to know,” Right on Sophia !
“People keep asking me who I’m dating right now and the truth is…wait for it…no one. And that’s OK. I’m figuring out a lot of stuff right now. I think as a woman it’s in our nature to nurture someone else. Sometimes at the expense of ourselves.” Which one of us hasn’t taken care of others at the expense of ourselves? Well, it’s time we make ourselves a priority!
“Some people said, “Oh. You don’t want to be alone.” And I said, “I’m not alone! I’m with myself. And myself is fabulous.”’ Yes you are!
“Too many women throw themselves into romance because they’re afraid of being single, then start making compromises and losing their identity. I won’t do that,” Being single has allowed me to realize my worth. This isn’t why I will never compromise myself again!
These bad ass babes are sharing wisdom some of us spend our entire lives searching for. I wish I had women like this sharing their outlook on single life much earlier in life. Lastly, when you are doubting your single life, remember the oldest woman alive attributes her long life to staying away from men. Maybe these les sho be tau to women at a youn age!
When looking for a good TV show, I generally like to find something that I can relate to. Until recently, besides Sex In The City there weren’t really any great shows for singles. Well that has definitely changed. These shows portray all age groups and walks of life. They bring to light the real heartfelt emotion pertaining to single women of all ages and situations. Here we go… 5 Best Shows For Single Women.
Sex In The City – Sex In The City is a classic show for single women. I truly believe this is a timeless show that shows the struggles, the humor, and the strength of us singles. More importantly it highlights the importance of female friendship. Sex In The City delves into the lives of women between their 30’s and 50’s. Don’t forget once you finish all of the seasons, you absolutely have to watch the movies too!
Girlfriends’s Guide to Divorce– This is a humorous heartfelt show that is fantastic for single mom’s and divorced women. That is not to say non moms and women who have not been married can’t enjoy this show. Binge worthy for sure!
Grey’s Anatomy– Grey’s Anatomy is an addicting show that offers a constant flow of relationships that are passionate, sexy, and difficult. The real hardship of breakups, divorce, and even loss of a loved one are also a big part of the show. Grey’s Anatomy makes you laugh, cry, and realize you are not alone in the craziness of relationships and breakups/divorce.
The Bold Type – The Bold Type is by far one of my favorite new shows. Three friends taking on the big city, new careers, and the intricacies of the dating world. The Bold Type portrays the younger generation, early to mid twenties.
Being Mary Jane – This is an amazing show that shows a woman in her mid thirties and her dating life through forty. For all of us single women who have made bad choices in relationships, have a career that is challenging, and can be more so because we are women, and all of us who have not been married and are in our 30’s and 40’s. Being Mary Jane is emotional, funny, smart, and real.
So, Mary Jane is a news caster who always includes brilliant quotes in her shows. Check out this link for must not miss quotes from Being Mary Jane. https://bmjquotes.tumblr.com/
We all want to feel like we are not alone. Being single or even dating in today’s day and age can make you feel isolated and even crazy. The women in these shows let us know we are not alone. This is life. The good, the bad, and the ugly these shows share them all with us.
I use my Fire TV Stick to catch all of these great shows.
As I sit here writing this, I am sitting at a local Starbucks, drinking my favorite Cinnamon Almond Milk Macchiato, on a date with myself. I wasn’t always able to take myself on dates because I was mortified of going out in public places alone. Once I decided to really dedicate myself to being single and focusing on being a better version of myself it started to get a little easier. Now I am so confident that I will walk into a 5 star restaurant with a book and demand to be sat at a table, not the bar because I am there alone.
Taking yourself on dates might be outside of your comfort zone, but once you do it, you will fall in love with it. Even though I wrote this for singles, I truly believe that even if you are in a relationship you should take yourself on solo dates. Granted when single a person will probably go on more solo dates then when in a relationship. However, it is important for everyone to spend some time with themselves.
Go to a concert you have been wanting to see. It doesn’t matter if you have great seats, or even get lawn seats. Sing along, dance around, have fun!
Buy yourself a new video game, go home, turn your phone off, and order delivery. Enjoy playing your new game in peace.
Take your dog mans best friend to the dog park for the afternoon.
Don’t have a dog? Go to a local dog shelter. Offer to walk the dogs to give them some love and exercise.
A long drive. Bring your favorite playlist. Roll the windows down and feel the wind on your face. Taking a long scenic drive with some great music is extremely relaxing.
Go to a beach or local park and watch the sunset. Sunsets aren’t just for couples and cliche proposals; they’re beautiful and relaxing for everybody. Get there 20 minutes before sun down. Bring a good snack, a book or journal and sit back and enjoy.
Take yourself zip-lining somewhere both thrilling and beautiful.
Take a class nobody would want to do with you – pottery, improv comedy, cooking, or woodworking. Immerse yourself in it.
Go people watching. This is one of my favorite. Just make sure it is somewhere appropriate so you are not that creepy person. Put down the phone and grab a cup of coffee and sit back and watch. Create stories about the people passing by.
An overnight getaway. Who doesn’t say they need more vacation time? There’s no reason why you can’t book yourself a romantic evening away for one, even if it’s a local hotel and all you do is order room service, take advantage of the pool and gym, and sleep in.
Go for a bike ride. Ride your bike around town or find a great scenic route or trail.
Get lost in a museum. Whether it’s discovering new artworks or marveling at an ancient piece of history, the experience is very personal. Go at your own pace and feel what moves you.
Go to a comedy club. Head down to your local comedy club and laugh until your ribs hurt. You won’t regret it.
Go see a live show. Wicked, Les Miserables, Fiddler On The Roof, these are just a few of the shows I’ve seen and I loved them all!
Go see a movie your friends wouldn’t normally go to with you. And you don’t have to share the popcorn.
Lay in the grass and relax watching the clouds. Make sure to turn your phone off.
Go to the planetarium.
Find a local food festival and enjoy guiltless indulgent eating.
Do something festive for whatever holiday is coming up (Drive around and look at Halloween decorations or Christmas lights).
Sitting by a window as it’s raining outside and you are curled up with a glass of wine and a good book.
Taking yourself on solo dates will help you to fall more in love with yourself. You deserve that whether you’re in a relationship or not. I actually believe that it’s sometimes even more important when you’re in a relationship, so you don’t lose your own identity within the relationship. When I go on solo dates, I get to know myself better. I allow myself to experience things in a new way. So, pick one, or try them all. Go take yourself on a solo date! Above all, enjoy yourself.