toxic relationship

While no relationship is perfect, if your relationship has any of these signs, you are in a toxic relationship and need to leave. Arguing is normal, it’s how you argue that makes a difference. Are you not sure if you are in a toxic relationship? Here are 10 signs that you are in a toxic relationship. 

*Violence occurs
*You feel like you have to have sex even when you don’t want to
*Being called bad names
*Everything is your fault
*You are confused all of the time
*You have been distanced from your friends and family
*Feeling the need to hide things
*You no longer recognize yourself
*Your partner lies to you
*You are being or have been cheated on

The moment you start to wonder if you deserve better, you do. If it is destroying you it is not love. Don’t hold on just because you have history together. A healthy relationship doesn’t drag you down, it doesn’t make you less than you are. A healthy relationship helps you to be better.

Initially the person you are in a toxic relationship with will probably be quite charming. Meanwhile slowly their behavior will change. It can be so slow that you don’t notice until it is to late. After that, it is all downhill from there. It doesn’t have to be physical to be toxic. For instance ignoring you as a form of punishment is abuse.


All relationships take work. All relationships will have ups and downs. However, at no time should there ever be a loss of respect, or should abuse occur. Above all, stop telling yourself it will get better or the person will change. In the end, the only healthy option is to leave.

This blog is very personal to me, because I have been there. So have a few of my friends. You are not alone. Check out A Letter To My Abused self. Hopefully it helps you! http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/a-letter-to-my-abused-self/

If you or someone you knows needs help leaving a domestic violence situation you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website https://www.thehotline.org/

Life After Domestic Violence

While leaving ones abuser is by far one of the most important things they can do, it doesn’t end there. Survivors of domestic violence don’t just leave and everything is magically better. At the same time there is an amazing life after domestic violence waiting, it just takes time and work.

When I first left my abuser, I never imagined I would end up here. Helping other people, having a wonderful relationship with my family, and happily in love. Most importantly, I never imagined I would be confident and in control of my life. 

It’s been four years since I left. It has been quite a journey. Even though I have come so far, sometimes I still feel broken that I am not 100% healed. I feel that people judge me for just “not getting over it”.

Here’s the thing it’s your journey and others don’t need to understand it and that’s okay. Don’t get me wrong I’m not saying you should dwell on it or let yourself live as a victim. I personally don’t identify with the word victim, I choose to identify as a survivor.

After leaving the most important thing is your safety. Once you are safe, it’s time to get help. I can’t imagine getting to where I am now without the help of my family, friends, and therapist. There is ABSOLUTELY no shame in getting help.


Take back your independence! Find the things you are passionate about and do them. Do all of the things that your abuser said you couldn’t do. I had no idea who I was when I first left. My abuser had stolen my identity. Like a child, I had to learn who I was, what I enjoyed, and what I wanted.

Don’t start dating until you have put the work in on yourself, not because you are broken but because you deserve better. How can you expect someone to love you the way you deserve until you love yourself?

Life after domestic violence

Dating will be difficult for many reasons, especially when you first begin dating. My first boyfriend I had after leaving my abuser made me feel guilt, shame, and embarrassment. When I told him about my abusive relationship, his response was “Well, why didn’t you leave” I immediately shut down. He inferred that it was my fault for staying. He then said “Ugh, not again. I already went through this with my last girlfriend”. After that, I could never talk to him about what I was going through.

It will not be easy to find someone out there who is understanding and supportive. DO NOT settle for someone who isn’t fully supportive. My boyfriend now is beyond supportive. He has never made me feel badly about my situation. In fact, he goes out of his way to make sure I am okay. We went to see a movie and there was a scene where a man was beating a woman, he leaned over and asked if I was okay and if I wanted to leave. In that moment I fell in love with him all over again.

As strong as I am now, I still have scars. I still have to go to therapy for my PTSD. I am not ashamed of that though, I am grateful. Grateful for those who have supported and loved me while I have been on this journey. I am so grateful that I found an amazing man who is patient with my healing. 

Be patient with yourself. You will not trust easily. There are times where I still find myself doubting peoples actions and intentions, because life before was a constant game of chess. It takes time, work, and patience to begin to trust again. 

Life after domestic violence is amazing. You know that you are strong and can overcome anything that comes your way. I am a completely different person now. The person that I am now is so much better than I was before. There is a wonderful life out there just waiting for you. You just need to realize why you are capable of and that you deserve the world.

Stop by and check out Why I Hate The Word Victimhttp://www.fabulouslysingle.life/why-i-hate-the-word-victim/

If you or someone you knows needs help leaving a domestic violence situation you can call The National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233 or visit their website https://www.thehotline.org/

Incredible Journeys

Incredible Journeys You Can Actually Afford

Who doesn’t dream about traveling the world? What holds you back from doing it? Time, money, not knowing where to start to book your dream journey? Well you need to check out this amazing company Indelible  Journeys. This company will help you find incredible journeys you can actually afford.

Frustrated having to search through a ton of travel sites to try to plan an incredible journey? Well, search no more. Indelible Journeys does the work for you. Whether it be finding a flight or planning your itinerary, they do it all.

One of the best parts, is there is no middle man. You book directly with the airlines. Prices are emailed to you automatically. The emails are based on your home airport. Guess what? You can have more than one home airport! It just keeps getting better.

Incredible Journeys

Meet the girl who started it all. Allie fell in love with traveling at a young age. She wanted to share her passion with others. Allie travels domestically and internationally, so she is very knowledgeable about both.

“Our Journey is to connect with as many
travelers, explorers and adventurers as we
can. We want to learn from you, grow from
your experiences and share with you.
Mostly, we want to enable you to continue
seeing this big ball of wonder we call Earth
as conveniently and inexpensively as
I personally love to travel. I have taken some incredible journeys. Whether traveling solo or with friends, traveling is when I feel most alive.

Don’t let anything hold you back from traveling. If your excuse is time, plan a weekend trip away. Money? Let Indelible Journeys help you find an affordable trip. Traveling will set your soul on fire and give you memories that you can’t make any other way!

Check out Why I Had To Travel Alone To Find Myself. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/whyihadtotravelalonttofindmyself/

Check out Indelible Journeys now https://www.indeliblejourneys.com/

Incredible Journeys
Fall Bucket List

Ultimate Fall Bucket List

Fall Bucket List

I don’t know about you but Fall is my favorite time of year. While I love Fall as a whole, Halloween is my favorite part of Fall. There is so much to do in the Fall, I decided to make a Fall Bucket List, so that I didn’t miss out on anything.

A couple of these will be Florida specific, but the majority you can find anywhere.

Living in Florida the summertime can be brutal. With Fall literally right around the corner, I cannot wait for cooler weather. With the cooler weather coming I can’t help but get excited about the fall cooking, festivals, and my favorite Halloween festivities.

Being the Halloween lover that I am, of course these festivities are at the top of my Fall Bucket List. I already have my tickets for both Halloween Horror Nights and Howl-o-scream. Next on my list is putting together an epic Halloween costume. You are never to old for Halloween, if you haven’t scored an invite to a Halloween party, throw your own!

Check out Halloween Horror Nights here https://orlando.halloweenhorrornights.com/site/

Check out Howl-o-scream here https://buschgardens.com/tampa/events/howl-o-scream/

And the baking, you can’t forget the baking! Here are a few of my favorites:

Fall Bucket List
Bloody cupcakes
Fall Bucket List
Brownie graveyard
Fall Bucket List
Peanut butter spider cookies

Okay, last Halloween one I promise. Costumes for your fur babies. It’s a must!

Fall Bucket List
My baby Echo

Okay, on to all other things Fall. Cook something warm for the cool weather. One of my favorites is beef barley soup.

Beef barley soup with challa bread.

Looking for some inexpensive things to add to your Fall Bucket List? Give these a try.

Fall arts and crafts. Don’t worry it’s for fun, it doesn’t need to be a work of art.

I made this using apples for the leaves.

Campfires and smores. This is inexpensive and a great time.

Go for a hike and enjoy the weather, nature, and just unplug.

Go to a pumpkin patch and pick pumpkins. Then when you get home you can bake the seeds and carve the pumpkins.

Fresh baked pumpkin seeds

We can all benefit from looking at our lives and seeing all that we have to be grateful for. This year for Fall, try a gratitude jar. Write down something that you are grateful for every day and drop it in your gratitude jar.

Make a DIY Fall wreath. I haven’t done this one yet, but it’s on my bucket list.

Find local Fall Festivals and go check them out.

Make candied apples. There are so many choices here, Carmel or chocolate, sprinkles or peanuts, the list goes on and on.

For all of you non Florida people, I truly envy you during the fall season. These are for you.

Jump in a leaf pile.

Collect colored leaves.

Craft with the leaves you collected.

Go apple picking.

Bake a pie, if you don’t like apple try pumpkin or pecan.

Burn fall scented candles.

Try making your own Fall Bucket List using this free printable http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/wp-content/uploads/2019/09/Fall-Bucket-List.pdf

Are there Fall Bucket Lists that I missed? Let me know! Comment below.

Until next time…..

live a balanced life


live a balanced life

I don’t know about you, but there’s days I leave work and am so mentally exhausted I don’t feel like I have anything left. While I do not have children, I do have two dogs, a boyfriend, friends, and family. For a long time I knew I wasn’t living a balanced life. Finally, I got fed up and knew I had to change. Here’s some tips on how to live a balanced life.


Finding balance sounds easy, but it takes work. Believe it or not, it takes planning. I make sure to plan for the week so that I can balance my life. Check out my Week Of Fabulous Planner.

This planner helps you to track your appointments, goals, self-care, exercise, budget, and more. This is a perfect tool to help you live a balanced life.


Get the printable here:


* Learn to say NO!

You can’t live a balanced life if you are living for everyone else. When you do say no, DON’T apologize for it!


* Try to keep a positive mental attitude.

We all know the saying we make plans, and God laughs. Life is full of the unexpected. Let go of the things you can’t control.


* Prioritize.

What is truly important to you?


* When you leave work don’t bring it home with you.

I know, this is much harder than it sounds. I have struggled with this for years. It is still something I struggle with, but I try to work on every day.


* All work and no play is a sure fire way to live an unbalanced life.

Whether it be something small like an extra long shower, or something bigger like a pedicure after a long day you time is necessary for living a balanced life.


* Ask for help

There is absolutely NO shame in asking for help. I had a very hard time asking for help and would try to do EVERYTHING myself. There would be times I would literally cry because it was to much. It took time and work, but now I ask for help.Whether it be at work, with my boyfriend, or with my family, I ask for help.


Be conscious of how you spend your time. Whether you are at work or out with friends be fully present. Give 100% when at work, and don’t be constantly checking your phone for emails when with friends.

As women we are expected to do it all, have a career, practice self-care, take care of our families, cook, clean, the list goes on and on. As crazy as life gets and as busy as we are balance is achievable. And remember no one can do it all.

Check out Go The F*** To Sleep http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/shut-the-f-up-and-go-to-sleep/

Until next time….

Tips For Getting a Good Night’s Sleep After a Breakup

I am so excited to share this guest post with you. Christine Huegel is going to share with us how to get a good night’s sleep after a breakup.

Tips For Getting a Good Night's Sleep After a Break Up
Christine Huegel
Tips For Getting a Good Night's Sleep After a Break Up

Anyone who has ever been through a breakup knows that they can be pretty rough. Whether it came by surprise or it was something you’d been preparing for, breaking the close, emotional bond you had developed with your ex can be both mentally and physically devastating. While breakups are typically for the best, you will have to cope with the pain of a broken heart and feelings of loneliness, longing, and possibly even anger. In addition, the difficult emotions that come along with breakups often take a toll on one’s physical health.

Post-breakup insomnia

One health issue that many experience after a breakup is known as “post-breakup insomnia.” Unfortunately, post-breakup insomnia is a condition that is often detrimental to one’s overall health and wellbeing. Without the proper amount of sleep, our bodies are unable to undergo the restorative processes required for healthy emotional regulation and proper organ functioning. After a break up, your emotions are already out of whack – so, when you add sleep deprivation into the mix, you’re body is simply unable to regulate and combat all those negative emotions. This lack of sleep can lead to increased feelings of anxiety and depression and make moving on from the split feel impossible. Meanwhile, the emotional strain of a breakup coupled with the effects of insomnia can cause you to push away the people you love and become isolated from your support group. Aside from elevated feelings of anxiety, depression, and loneliness, not receiving enough sleep can also impact your performance at work or school – which can cause a host of separate issues in your life.

How to get a good night’s sleep after the split

Overall, achieving a healthy sleep cycle after a breakup can be the key to moving on and starting the next chapter of your life. Following these tips will help prevent post-breakup insomnia and ensure that you get a clean start:

Start meditating.

Meditation is an incredibly useful tool to deal with any of the stressors life throws your way, especially breakups, because it re-trains your mind and body. Through controlled breathing and the repetition of mantras, meditation alters the way your body responds to stress. Practicing this powerful therapy before bed will calm your thoughts, create an inner-quiet, and allow you to fall asleep faster.

Start a before-bed gratitude journal.

The negative thoughts and emotions of a breakup can sneak up at the end of the night and prevent you from falling asleep. Starting a bedtime gratitude journal will allow you to change those negative thought patterns into positive ones and get a peaceful night’s rest. We recommend that you write down three things you are grateful for and one reason you are special in your journal every night at bedtime.

Find someone to talk to.

Breakups can be traumatic – and they can cause us more pain than we realize. Therapy, whether in a group or one-on-one with a counselor, will provide you with the tools you need to move past the emotional damage experienced in a breakup.

Try aromatherapy at bedtime.

Studies have found that certain essential oils encourage sleep. In addition, essential oils have also been shown to improve mood and dampen the effects of stress and anxiety. Try putting the following oils in your diffuser at bedtime to help reduce stress and promote sleep:

  • Lavender
  • Cedarwood
  • Chamomile
  • Lemon Balm

Although breakup-related insomnia is an issue that many face, it doesn’t mean that it’s inevitable. Listening to your body, focusing on your inner peace, and making your health a priority will allow you to achieve a beneficial nights sleep on a regular basis. And, eventually, this breakup will become part of your past and you will move on with your life. Distance and time will allow your wounds to heal and you will begin a new, more promising chapter of life.

Well I hope you enjoyed our first guest post. And hopefully you’ve learned some great tricks to a good night’s sleep after a breakup.

If you loved Tips On How To Get A Good Night’s Sleep After A Breakup, hopefully you’ll love this. Stop by and check out What I Learned From My Last Breakup http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/what-i-learned-from-my-last-breakup/



A frustrated tired woman hides her head in her pillow and screams beacuse she can’t sleep. Isolated on white.

Laying in bed tossing and turning, mind racing, sleep not even within reach. Sound familiar? Sleep, like food and water is necessary for our well being. It is also one of the things that we can neglect the most.

50-70 million US adults have a sleep disorder

American Sleep Association


In today’s society we are so go go go, all of the time. We work more, we are constantly connected to social media, there doesn’t seem to be enough hours in the day. All of this can make it harder to sleep.

I have tried it all. Melatonin, over the counter sleep aids, none of them worked. I have found that I need a compilation of things to help me sleep. Not all of the things that work for me will necessarily work for you. So try them all and pick and choose what works for you.

First off I do not drink soda or anything with caffeine at night. What I do make sure to drink before bed is sleepy time tea. Many people say to take melatonin, that never worked for me. While Benadryl works sometimes, you shouldn’t take it regularly because it has been linked to causing dementia after prolonged use.

As busy as we all are, try to go to bed twenty minutes early. Having that extra time takes off the pressure of feeling rushed. Pick out your clothes the night before. Having one less thing to worry about in the morning can also reduce your stress.

Choose a cut off time for your phone. I set mine on do not disturb until I wake up in the morning. You can still allow select numbers to come through. Also, absolutely no social media after your cut off time.


Before bed try some nighttime stretching or yoga. Once your ready to go to bed try a ten minute meditation. There are two apps that I use to help me fall asleep. Calm or Self and Sanity&Self.




Calm can be pricey, but it offers it all. Meditation, relaxing music, and yes bedtime stories. Yes I know it sounds crazy but it works. My first bedtime story was told by Matthew McConaughey. I was asleep before I knew it. I also use their meditation sessions before bed.

Self and Sanity is also great. The best thing about this app is it offers so much more than help with sleep. One of the best things I’ve learned from this app is that I have to close out my day before I try to go to sleep. Sanity and self offer breathing exercises for before bed, meditation, relaxing music, and also bedtime stories.

Personally, I need a cold dark room to be able to sleep. If the room isn’t dark enough I use a sleep mask. It also helps me to have a fan going.

Adults need 7-9 hours of sleep

American Sleep Association

If you are looking for a free option, you can find Jason Stephenson on Youtube. His guided meditations are phenomenal.

It will take time to discover the routine that works for you. Don’t get discouraged. The harder you try to fall asleep the harder it will be.

On a lighter note check out Samuel L Jackson reading Shut The F*** Up And Go To Sleep. https://youtu.be/ma-7jb9vEjA

Check out this self care workbook. It will change your life. https://www.etsy.com/FabulouslysingleCo/listing/719429686/self-care-workbook?utm_source=Copy&utm_medium=ListingManager&utm_campaign=Share&utm_term=so.lmsm&share_time=1567682756365

Check out Hot To Get A Good Night’s Sleep After A Breakup http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/tips-for-getting-a-good-nights-sleep-after-a-breakup/



Several years ago my mother, sister, and I decided to do things together instead of just exchanging gifts for birthdays. The birthday girl gets to chose an event to go to as a group. That’s just the beginning of why I did goat yoga for my birthday. 

It was actually my sister who found the goat yoga class. We signed up through Goat Yoga Of Tampa Bay. The class was held at The Loop Brewing. All we needed to bring was a yoga mat. Although we didn’t know exactly what to expect we were very excited.

My favorite yoga mat

When we pulled up the first thing we saw was an adorable building beautifully painted. We continued to the back where class would be. The view was amazing. You looked out over the water surrounded by huge trees. String lights filled the trees. I couldn’t have asked for a better location. Staff members were there helping us to see where to set up our yoga mats and let us know what to expect. They were all so friendly we were immediately put at ease.

Amazing view looking up while doing yoga.
Trees filled with string lights
Gorgeous view from the back of The Loop Brewing

The yoga instructor radiated positive energy. You couldn’t help but feel comfortable around her. Normally, I am very uncomfortable in social situations. Not this time. My mother, sister, and I sat right up front. The goats were led in and the fun began.


When first deciding to do goat yoga for my birthday, I was really excited about the goats. I never imagined that the yoga class itself would have impacted me so much. The class began, and I could slowly start to feel myself become calm and centered. My breathing changed and my head cleared. I felt at peace.

That’s me all the way on the right. My sister is the one surrounded by goats.
My mom, my sister, and I

The instructor really inspired me to want to continue to do yoga. She taught us Pranayama breathing. That is something I was able to take with me after the class. For someone who suffers from terrible anxiety those breathing exercises will continue to help me.

Last but certainly not least, after the yoga class ended we were able to take photos with the goats. After that we were offered a complimentary beer or sangria. To top it off they were giving out free samples of an amazing sparkling rose. It was a perfect end to a perfect morning.

Sparkling Rose
White Sangria

My family and I decided that spending time together experiencing new things was way better than just exchanging birthday gifts. I must admit we have done some amazing things together. Goat yoga however, was by far my favorite. If you haven’t tried it yet, what are you waiting for?

Check out Goat Yoga Of Tampa Bay https://www.facebook.com/goatyogatampa/

Check out The Loop Brewing https://intheloopbrewingcompany.com/




We are always talking about what to look out for as far as red flags. Let’s talk about green flags. Don’t get so distracted looking for red flags that you overlook green flags.

No relationship is perfect and no matter how amazing someone is they will still do things we don’t like. How they react when we talk to them about that behavior is what’s important. There are several behaviors that are green flags. Let’s discuss a few of these green flags.

1. Being able to acknowledge and apologize when they are wrong – none of us really like to admit that we are wrong. Being able to admit it and sincerely apologize is crucial for a healthy relationship.
2. Able to use a calm tone of voice when fighting – Yelling and screaming is not a great way to communicate. It is also a terrible way to try to get your point across. Disagreements are a part of all relationships. Being able to discuss the issue calmly is a great attribute.
3. Listens when you talk – Whether it is something that affects them directly or just something that you like, having your partner listen to you is crucial to a strong relationship.
4. Supporting you – Whether it be supporting your ambitions or supporting you through something you are dealing with, support is something we all need.

5. Never puts you down – I don’t care if it is in public or in private. Putting your significant other down is not acceptable. That is definitely red flag behavior.

6. Compromises – I’m not talking about allowing you to walk all over them, but compromising when necessary.

Basically, we all know what red flag behavior is. So lets keep our eyes open for green flag behavior. When you do find it, that is the one you don’t want to lose. Bottom line you want to end up with someone who treats you right and helps you to be a better person.

Check out Is Past Hurt Robbing You Of Happiness http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/is-past-hurt-robbing-you-of-happiness/




We’ve all been hurt in life, had our egos bruised, hearts broken, and maybe having to second guess our views on love in general. Some of us have been hurt worse then others. We all deal with that hurt differently. I put up walls that almost no one could get through, didn’t trust anyone, and was pretty jaded. Having been hurt in relationships before made me guarded. 

I am truly blessed to have a boyfriend who saw my behavior for what it was, a defense mechanism. He didn’t run, instead he told me I wouldn’t scare him off. One by one I began to shed my defenses and let him in.

One of the hardest things to do is to let down our armor and let people see us. To let ourselves be vulnerable. To take a chance once we’ve already been burned. But if you don’t then you will never be able to be in a happy healthy relationship.

Being hurt in relationships is a part of life. Past hurts are not limited to relationships, they can also include hurt from our childhoods. Past hurts don’t have to rob us of happiness in our current relationships. In fact they can actually lead to stronger and healthier relationships.

One of the most important things I did in this relationship is be honest about my past hurts. Now I don’t mean that as soon as we started dating I spewed out all of my most embarrassing issues that hurt me in the past. But I did communicate to my boyfriend that I was in an abusive relationship towards the beginning so that he would have an understanding of some of my behaviors. Now, I try to let him know when a situation makes me think of the past.

Loving yourself is so important. Not only can it keep the past from happening again, it can change how you handle situations. Part of loving yourself is changing the way you talk to yourself. This can help the way you interact with your significant other.

Get rid of fight or flight. Stay and calmly work through whatever is going on. All relationships will get tough. Avoidance and fighting are both bad options. If you truly want to make the relationship work, you will have to take a deep breath and don’t give up.

It’s okay to forgive and to forgive readily. You do not lose anything by forgiving someone that you love.

My boyfriend has patiently taught me that my vulnerabilities are not something that I need to be ashamed of. You shouldn’t hide your vulnerabilities, they are part of you. He has also shown me that I do not have to be perfect to be loved. Luckily my boyfriend also encourages me to be myself. All of these things have helped me to not allow my past hurts to hinder our relationship.

Use your friends for guidance and support. When I know that I am taking something from my past out on my boyfriend, I call my best friend and she talks it through with me. Close friends can really help you talk through the situation with you so that you don’t allow the hurt from teh past to control your future.

In my case what had caused the majority of my hurt was abusive behavior. It is easy to run to what is known because it is what is comfortable. Working on a new and healthy relationship can be awkward. You might not know how to react to something that is new and so good. Breathe through it. It is possible to let go of past hurts and be in a happy and healthy relationship.

Check out this awesome video about letting go of your past

Also one website that has helped me tremendously is https://www.sanityandself.com/

Come check out How To Let Someone Love you http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/how-to-let-someone-love-you/