Responses to the question "Why are you still single"

Responses to the question “Why are you still single”

Responses to the question "Why are you still single"

We all know those people who ask inappropriate questions. When are you going to have kids, why aren’t you two married yet, and wait for it… why are you still single.

First off, let me point out that by using the word still in the question it makes it seem like there is something wrong with being single. That it is a condition that needs to be rectified. Somehow, it makes the question even more offensive.

Yes, the question with or without the word still is inappropriate. Unfortunately it is hard to avoid all nosy and/or rude people. Here are some of my favorite responses to the question why are you still single?

  •  I’m in a passionate love affair with myself. 
  • Not everyone can handle fabulous
  • My bed only has enough room for me and my dogs
  • I don’t know, why are you still married
  • Because I would rather have a significant income than a significant other
  • I’m  just lucky I guess.
  • I’m not single, I’m in a long term relationship with fun and freedom
  • Getting into a relationship seems like a good idea, but so did getting on the Titanic and look at what happened there. 
  • I’m single at heart
  • Because no company is better than bad company.

Now, remember as annoyed as we singles are by this question, rarely does the person asking mean any harm. Odds are they do not even realize that they are being rude. The important thing is to not let it bother you. Being single is amazing and liberating! Revel in your freedom.

Check out Celebrities Talk Single Life And Why They Love It http://Check out Celeberties Talk Single Life And Why They Love It

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

As we get older the thought of being alone can be terrifying. Being in a relationship is idealized and romanticized. Even in today’s society being in a relationship is by the majority thought to be “normal”. Choosing to be single is thought to be “abnormal”. Obviously, there are other concerns like the financial burden of not having a shared income. Therefore, some people would rather be in miserable relationships than be alone.

There are so many positives of single life, that fear can make people overlook. Don’t let the fear of being “alone” keep you trapped in a bad relationship, or continually settling for less just to be with someone. Being in my mid 30’s, I was terrified at the thought of being alone, until I let myself be alone. Choosing to be single is the most liberating thing I have ever done.

Here are 15 fears people have about being single:

 

  1. not having validation – You are not defined by your relationship with others or lack there of.
  2. not being happy – Being in a relationship DOES NOT ALWAYS mean happiness. You CAN NOT depend on another person for your happiness. You must learn to make yourself happy.
  3. Not having sex again – Well, i’ll be honest this one still worries me a bit. but let’s be honest we can have great safe sex being single. And who knows singles might be having more sex than those in relationships.
  4. not being loved – The love you can give yourself is stronger and more pure than the love anyone else can offer (except maybe your dog).
  5. not being whole – You are whole on your own. You are not broken or missing half of yourself. There is no on out there who is going to complete you. You need to be able to complete yourself.
  6. being lonely – You don’t have to be lonely. First of all you will learn to love spending time with you. Most importantly, I have been more lonely when I was in certain relationships then I ever have being single.
  7. family and FRIEND pressure – Although family and friends might harp on the fact that you are single, they are not doing it to be hurtful. Now, that doesn’t mean that it is pleasant, or it doesn’t get annoying or hurt. But, you can not let it affect you as much. Ignore it! You know how happy and amazing you are! Odds are some of them are actually jealous of your singledom!
  8. Having to watch every last person in your life get married and have kids – this can be tough at times. It can also be liberating. I literally have watched everyone in my life get married and have kids. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it hurts a little. But, I can book a flight anywhere I want at the drop of a dime and visit somewhere I have never been. Believe me I do it often!
  9. companionship – The only companionship you need is your own.
  10. being unable to take care of yourself – You will not be unable to take care of yourself. In fact, you will be able to be your main priority.
  11. having a partner to offer you the world – You don’t need anyone to offer you the world. You can give that to yourself. (This is probably one of my favorite)
  12. having to go through tough times and illness alone – You will not have to go through the tough times or being ill alone. One of my best friends is also single and through tough times and illness neither of us have ever been alone. Friends and family will always be by your side. I have had to be put to sleep for a couple of procedures and my sister was there when I was done each time.
  13.  just being single – Being single for an extended period of time will give you a strength and freedom you never thought you were capable of.
  14.  dying alone – You can be married for 50 years and still die alone. You can be single with no children and die surrounded by those you love. The thought of dying alone used to plague me. Now I understand I have the most amazing friends and family (no bias here) who would never let that happen.
  15. running out of time to meet someone – Don’t be afraid that you are running out of time. Societal time frames are archaic and outdated. We all live longer. Women have careers to focus on now. If you don’t want to stay single forever, that’s OK. This isn’t a race! Take your time to do you and IF you want look for love when you are ready.

Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. Society tries to impose that we need a significant other to feel complete. These fears are completely natural, but don’r let them consume you. Leaving a relationship can be extremely difficult, especially because many times we get comfortable. Choose to  make yourself happy and focus on your own needs rather than on someone else’s.

Check out 20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/20-dates-to-take-yourself-on-when-you-are-single/

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

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Until next time….

How To Live Happily Ever After

How To Live Single And Happy

How To Live Happily Ever After

It is hard to not be bombarded with engagements and wedding with social media and reality TV. Happiness is a choice, so you can chose to be a Bitter Betty or you can decide to be happy. I have been seeing so much bitterness in single communities lately. It inspired me to share how to live single and happy.

One of the biggest mistakes women make is putting their lives on hold while waiting for their Prince Charming. Don’t push the pause button on living your life because you are waiting for someone to create your happily ever after. Start living your happily ever after right now.It is impossible to live happily ever after and be a Bitter Betty at the same time. Now this is not to say that when living single you will never feel a pang of envy or longing. However, you can decide to revel in your bitterness, or you can decide to live happy.

It takes courage to truly live being single. Having to take trips by yourself, planning for the future, and not hold back on any of your goals. A question you should really ask yourself is won’t I be happier doing this alone then with an ex who made me unhappy? Won’t I be happier achieving my goals then living on pause?

One of the most important things to remember is living single DOES NOT mean living alone! I would never be who I am or where I am without my fierce lady tribe. My tribe is an equal mix or married and single. My married friends never judge me, they never make me feel like a third wheel, and most importantly they never make me feel damaged. Living your happily ever after is so much easier with a tribe who supports you.

Prior to being happily single, I could not list things that I was passionate about. Having to tell someone what my hobbies were? Impossible. I never took the time to figure all of that out. Pursue your passions. Begin doing things you have always wanted to. Put your baggage to rest, deal with whatever lingering issues you have with your ex or relationships in general deal with it now.

Lastly, living happily ever after single, does not mean that you do not eventually want to find someone. It means you cannot be consumed with meeting the perfect person and going through the motions of life until you do. Take advantage of the time you have by yourself and live your life to the fullest.

Check out my blog What I Have Learned Being Single. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/what-i-have-learned-being-single/

Until next time….

 

What I have learned being single

What I Have Learned Being Single

This is the first time in my life that I have really been single. When it comes to relationships, I have bounced around like the ball in a pinball machine. Bouncing along from one relationship to another. This began at the early age of 15. I never took the time to live, to discover, or to establish myself. Sharing what I have learned being single will hopefully inspire others.

My second to last relationship should have been my grand finale. When I finally got out of that relationship, there was literally nothing left of me. I’m stubborn, so I jumped into one last relationship. Shame on me. I had no business being with anyone but myself. I was expecting miracles from my last boyfriend. How could he ever love me, when I didn’t even love myself? Being that I never took the time to figure out who I was, how could I love myself?

I have now been single for almost a year and a half. This is what I have learned since being single:
* I am funny.
* I am strong.
* I am independent.
* I love to cook…and I’m good at it.
* I love to travel.
* I NEED to practice self-care.
* I enjoy running.
* I HATE metal music.
* My opinion matters.
* My family will always be there, and no relationship should change that.
* I have the best ride or die friends.
* I can take care of myself.
* I shouldn’t have to take care of someone else.
* I can live without sex.
* Being in a relationship should never change who you are.
* Your validation as a person doesn’t come from being in a relationship.
* I don’t want to die not having had lived.

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Finally having given myself time, I have a good I idea of who I am. By no means do I want to be in another relationship right now. Truly, I am enjoying my freedom, which I have never had before. As a matter of fact, I am not ready for this journey of self discovery to end. This is what I have learned being single, in a relatively short period of time. I am excited to see what I will learn as my journey continues. Never stay in a bad or unhealthy relationship because you are scared to start over. You can chose the life you are going to live. This video inspired me on my journey, hopefully it will inspire you too. 

Until next time…

Nothing wrong with being single

Nothing Wrong With Being Single

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Nothing Wrong With Being Single

How very peculiar is it that in this day and age being single is such an outrage. A person is considered to be more “normal” and socially accepted if they are in a relationship or married, even if it is not a healthy relationship. I created this blog because I love being single, The freedom that comes with being single is unparalleled. Never in my life have I been happier then I am in this moment. I truly believe that one has to take time to get to know themselves, find out who they truly are, and what it is that they want in life before they can ever be in a happy healthy relationship. The only thing I am committed to right now is bettering myself. There is nothing wrong with being single.
I’ve been going to the same nail salon for many years. They have seen me with an ex-boyfriend for many years. However, now that I have been single for over a year they ask me continuously, do you have a boyfriend? Are you looking? Because I have taken no interest in dating the gentleman doing my nails today actually asked me are you looking for a girlfriend? Are you gay? Isn’t it funny that because I am a woman in my mid 30’s who is not looking for relationship the automatic assumption is that either I am gay or there is something wrong with me? It is beyond people’s comprehension that a woman can just actually be happy being single.
I created a Twitter account to promote my blog along with a page on Facebook, Fabulously Single. I have received private messages on both from men attempting to engage me in conversation beyond the scope of my blog and beyond the scope of friendship. Isn’t it funny that my blog is mainly about being single and the journey to find myself, yet people continue to try to contact me to either get with me or start a relationship?
The reason I find this funny it’s because I’m obviously happy where I am and in no way, shape, or form interested in a relationship or hooking up with strangers. It makes me feel that these men think I am either not truly happy being single or would like nothing more than to find a relationship. That single women will drop what they are doing at even the hint of opportunity for a relationship or random sex. Well sorry to disappoint you guys, I am happy being single, and I can pleasure myself without your help.
Now this is a new notion for me, as I was a serial dater for a very long time. I hated being single. Being single was embarrassing to me. A relationship made me feel validated. It took me a very long time to come to the realization that this was crap! I am a complete person, who does not need a relationship to validate me.
Until we can complete ourselves we can never truly be in a healthy relationship. Society trains us that we need to look for somebody else to complete us, I completely disagree. We cannot be anybody else’s complete happiness, just as nobody else can be our complete happiness. We need to learn to love ourselves, instead of the idea of others loving us. Being single does not mean broken, actively looking, gay, straight, or anything else. The stigma of being single is alive and kicking. It can get overwhelmingly annoying at times. Although people’s attitudes perplex me, I continue to find the humor in these situations. Being single doesn’t always mean being lonely, just as being in a relationship doesn’t always mean being happy. Nothing wrong with being single is something we must remind ourselves of.
I am single. Don’t pity me. I am single by choice. I am not lonely. I am done settling. I am done being a chameleon to be in a relationship. I am done dating shitty people. Now I have grown, I know what I want and what I deserve. I am on a journey to continue to find and create myself. When I am ready for a relationship I will not mind waiting for the right one. It is better to be single with standards than in a relationship settling for less. There is nothing wrong with being single.
Come check out Single isn’t a dirty word: misconceptions of single life. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/single-isnt-a-dirty-word-misconceptions-of-single-life/

 

Until next time….