Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas When You Are Single

Surviving Christmas when you’re single can be emotionally draining and difficult. Whether it is not wanting to show up single to events or dealing with nosy people. Which is why I’ve compiled a guide to getting through the Christmas season solo.

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First off, don’t overlook all of the benefits of being single during the Christmas season. There is no agonizing over what to but your partner, and better yet you don’t have to spend the money. Then there is the relief of not having to figure out or argue about how to split your time among the families. Best of all, you do not have to deal with the craziness of a family that is not yours!

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Having to walk into any big gathering during Christmas, whether it be a company party, or a relatives house can be daunting to say the least. You might feel like the entire room is staring at you, like some kind of spectacle. Let me tell you something, people are paying a lot less attention to you than you think. The secret is to let go and just enjoy yourself. More importantly let others enjoy you! Oh and there’s alway alcohol!

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Odds are you won’t be the only single person at these events. If you feel like you will be the only single person there, change it! Invite a friend to tag along.

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Have a comeback ready for nosy people, whether they be friends, family, or strangers. When questioning you on your love life or lack there off, remember, they are odds are not trying to be hurtful. Now of course there are some who might be, keep in mind if that is the case then they must be pretty miserable themselves. You can either answer in earnest (I haven’t found the right person yet) or in humor (I decided I didn’t want to spend a fortune on gifts this year).

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Try doing things that make you feel good about yourself. Sure, you can take all of that money you are saving on gifts and spend it on yourself. Treat yourself to a massage, facial, or pedicure. Or even better, volunteer. It is the season for giving. Not only will you be helping others, but you will automatically feel batter about yourself as well!

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Whatever you do DO NOT wallow! If you allow yourself to indulge in that negative behavior, nothing good will come of it. It will only get worse and you will find yourself on an ugly downward spiral. Plus, you don’t want people to pity you, you are to awesome for that!

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Being single is a relationship status, not a death sentence.

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So don’t freak out and don’t be a Grinch! Enjoy Christmas and your freedom to enjoy it however, wherever, and whenever you want!!

 

Until next time….

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

The 20 Most Annoying Things Single Girls Are Tired of Hearing

While people generally want to be kind and encouraging to others, sometimes they can really put their foot in their mouth. I have heard these comments made by both single and married friends, family, and people who really don’t know me well enough to comment at all. While I cannot speak for women everywhere, here is my top 20 most annoying things single girls are tired of hearing.

 

1. “You? You’re single?!”

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Gasp, I know right.

 

2.”Why aren’t you in a relationship?”

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I don’t know, I just love my dog too much.

 

3.”Maybe you’re just better off single.”

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Um? Thanks, that makes me feel so much better.

4.”Being single is so much easier anyway.”

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Then why are you in a relationship right now…? And who takes care of you when you are sick and can’t drive? Your partner? Oh right.

 

5.”Take time to work on yourself first.”

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So….what are you saying I need to fix about myself?

 

6.”Girl, you are so much better than {Fill in your ex’s name here}.”

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I know I am, but that doesn’t help me find someone new. Or feel better about wasting a year of my life with him, but thanks!

 

7.”The second you stop looking for love, it will find you.”

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Please explain to me why I haven’t been looking for quite some time and here I am still single.

 

8.”Please let me set you up, I know the perfect person for you!”

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No, no, and no. Thanks anyway. The last person I agreed to let set me up, did’t know the guy was a felon.

 

9.”Stop being so picky, maybe that’s your problem.”

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Yes, let me completely lower my standards to be miserable with anyone, just so that I can be with someone.

 

10.”Don’t worry, it’ll happen.”

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Yeah, when? In another five years?

 

11.”There are plenty of fish in the sea.”

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Well first off I’m not a fish. I also don’t live in the sea. Lastly, just because there are plenty of them doesn’t make any of them normal.

 

12.”Maybe you aren’t putting yourself out there enough.”

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Well, not that it is any of your business, but I put myself out there all the time. I just don’t like to publicize all of my rejections.

 

13.”You just haven’t found the right person yet.”

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You don’t say…

 

14.”Everything happens for a reason.”

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That is possibly the least helpful, unoriginal advice ever. Also, now you have put me in an awkward position because there is no appropriate answer to this.

 

15. Well you should try this dating app instead, and let me see who you are choosing. They probably are the wrong choices.

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I’m sorry, are you single? Have you ever even used a dating app? I feel so much better, that you know me better than I know myself, of course you should swipe for me.

 

16. Do you really want to end up alone?

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Oh, I didn’t know because I am single at the moment, that means I will be single for the rest of my life. And if I do, would that really be the WORST thing in the world?

 

17. Be careful, or you will end up the old cat lady, followed by hysterical laughter.

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Oh my God, you are so funny, no one has ever said that to me before. Also, obviously you don’t know me very well. I will be the old DOG lady. Plus, animals are way better than people.

 

18. You know you do not need a man to have a baby, you should think about it before you get to old.

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What? Really? Why would you think that is an okay statement to make to anyone? Ever?  Enough said.

 

19. And that is why she is is still single.

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While not directed at you it still is very irritating. Here’s why: First of all it implies that there is something wrong with the social status of being single, Second of all, now I am wondering what you say about why I am STILL single when I am not around, and Third of all have you ever thought maybe she WANTS to be single?

20. You must have so much time on your hands.

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Yes, we singles do not have time we need to spend with a partner, and some of us do not have children to raise. We are however, not sitting around twiddling out thumbs with all of this extra time. We do not have anyone to help us with the chores, grocery shopping, upkeep of our vehicles, homes etc. We also have amazingly full lives. I myself spend time with family, friends, I travel when I can. Most of us also have careers. I mentor a little girl once a week. So keep this in mind the next time you want to make such a silly comment.

 

Most of us have experienced that awkward moment when well meaning people try to comfort “us singles”. Whether it be with words of encouragement, invasive questions (meant to find the root of our “problem”), or promises about our future. Rarely does it ever have their desired effect. I’d say about 99% of the time it is an epic fail. So the next time you are conversing with a single woman keep these comments in mind.

 

Until next time…..

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

15 Fears People Have About Being Single

As we get older the thought of being alone can be terrifying. Being in a relationship is idealized and romanticized. Even in today’s society being in a relationship is by the majority thought to be “normal”. Choosing to be single is thought to be “abnormal”. Obviously, there are other concerns like the financial burden of not having a shared income. Therefore, some people would rather be in miserable relationships than be alone.

There are so many positives of single life, that fear can make people overlook. Don’t let the fear of being “alone” keep you trapped in a bad relationship, or continually settling for less just to be with someone. Being in my mid 30’s, I was terrified at the thought of being alone, until I let myself be alone. Choosing to be single is the most liberating thing I have ever done.

Here are 15 fears people have about being single:

 

  1. not having validation – You are not defined by your relationship with others or lack there of.
  2. not being happy – Being in a relationship DOES NOT ALWAYS mean happiness. You CAN NOT depend on another person for your happiness. You must learn to make yourself happy.
  3. Not having sex again – Well, i’ll be honest this one still worries me a bit. but let’s be honest we can have great safe sex being single. And who knows singles might be having more sex than those in relationships.
  4. not being loved – The love you can give yourself is stronger and more pure than the love anyone else can offer (except maybe your dog).
  5. not being whole – You are whole on your own. You are not broken or missing half of yourself. There is no on out there who is going to complete you. You need to be able to complete yourself.
  6. being lonely – You don’t have to be lonely. First of all you will learn to love spending time with you. Most importantly, I have been more lonely when I was in certain relationships then I ever have being single.
  7. family and FRIEND pressure – Although family and friends might harp on the fact that you are single, they are not doing it to be hurtful. Now, that doesn’t mean that it is pleasant, or it doesn’t get annoying or hurt. But, you can not let it affect you as much. Ignore it! You know how happy and amazing you are! Odds are some of them are actually jealous of your singledom!
  8. Having to watch every last person in your life get married and have kids – this can be tough at times. It can also be liberating. I literally have watched everyone in my life get married and have kids. I’m not going to lie, sometimes it hurts a little. But, I can book a flight anywhere I want at the drop of a dime and visit somewhere I have never been. Believe me I do it often!
  9. companionship – The only companionship you need is your own.
  10. being unable to take care of yourself – You will not be unable to take care of yourself. In fact, you will be able to be your main priority.
  11. having a partner to offer you the world – You don’t need anyone to offer you the world. You can give that to yourself. (This is probably one of my favorite)
  12. having to go through tough times and illness alone – You will not have to go through the tough times or being ill alone. One of my best friends is also single and through tough times and illness neither of us have ever been alone. Friends and family will always be by your side. I have had to be put to sleep for a couple of procedures and my sister was there when I was done each time.
  13.  just being single – Being single for an extended period of time will give you a strength and freedom you never thought you were capable of.
  14.  dying alone – You can be married for 50 years and still die alone. You can be single with no children and die surrounded by those you love. The thought of dying alone used to plague me. Now I understand I have the most amazing friends and family (no bias here) who would never let that happen.
  15. running out of time to meet someone – Don’t be afraid that you are running out of time. Societal time frames are archaic and outdated. We all live longer. Women have careers to focus on now. If you don’t want to stay single forever, that’s OK. This isn’t a race! Take your time to do you and IF you want look for love when you are ready.

Being single is nothing to be ashamed of. Society tries to impose that we need a significant other to feel complete. These fears are completely natural, but don’r let them consume you. Leaving a relationship can be extremely difficult, especially because many times we get comfortable. Choose to  make yourself happy and focus on your own needs rather than on someone else’s.

Check out 20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/20-dates-to-take-yourself-on-when-you-are-single/

Single: The Art of Being Satisfied, Fulfilled and Independent

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Until next time….

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are SingleLadies, you might not be single forever. Revel in it. Enjoy it. This time you have to learn about yourself and fall in love with yourself is a gift. Make the most of it! Here is a list of 20 dates to take yourself on when you are single.

 

  1. Take yourself on an ultimate spa date. Pamper yourself with a mani, pedi, and go for the deluxe so you can enjoy the massage. Follow that with a facial if you’re feeling really feisty.

    20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single
    Spa Day
  2. Indulge in an in-home spa day, complete with a bubble bath, scented candles, and wine.

  3. Put on your most comfortable cloths you wouldn’t be caught in public with. Order your favorite take-out food to be delivered to your house. Enjoy a night of  binge watching Netflix and guiltless eating.

  4. Stay in and have an ultimate craft night—coloring, painting, drawing, DIY crafts etc. Feeling social? Invite some friends to join you. Enjoy your favorite cocktails. Don’t forget some great music too.20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

  5. Go to your favorite restaurant, don’t get the same thing you always do, be adventurous and be sure to order something new each time.20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  6. Grab your girls and go all out for an evening out on the town—dress to the nines, and hit up all your favorite hot spots.

  7. Spend a random night in the city and get a hotel. Order room service, check out the bar, enjoy  like a boss.

  8. Grab some friends and go dancing like fools at the local bar.

  9. Get a picnic blanket, snacks, and a journal or book you’ve been meaning to read and bring the to the nearest forest preserve or park. Set up camp and enjoy the day (sun or shade) by relaxing and enjoying some peace and quiet. Turn your cellphone off and enjoy.

  10. Have a beach day just you, some tunes, and of course, snacks.                      20 Dates To Take Yourself On When You Are Single

  11. Go on a long, relaxing nature walk.

  12. Take yourself to the movies. Be a rule breaker and sneak in your favorite candy.

  13. Go to one of the pretty, touristy places in town and take pictures, grab something to eat at one of the restaurants there, and finish off at a great bakery or coffee shop. 20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  14. Go to a free cooking, sewing, or scrap-booking. If you’re really feeling adventurous try a self  defense class. Enjoy learning something new.

  15. Take a shopping trip by yourself. Enjoy window shopping and treat yourself to at least one thing you don’t really need.

  16. Spend the afternoon volunteering at a homeless shelter feeding those in need or volunteer at a local animal clinic and help, play with, and love on some cute furry friends.

  17. Do something you’re absolutely terrified of completely on your own.

  18. Go to the zoo. Spend the day petting animals, taking pictures, and just having fun on your own. 20 Dates To Take Yourself On

  19. Throw on some chic clothes and go visit a local museum.

  20. Invite some friends over for a BBQ and have everyone bring a dish they haven’t made before.

 

Until next time…

How To Live Happily Ever After

How To Live Single And Happy

How To Live Happily Ever After

It is hard to not be bombarded with engagements and wedding with social media and reality TV. Happiness is a choice, so you can chose to be a Bitter Betty or you can decide to be happy. I have been seeing so much bitterness in single communities lately. It inspired me to share how to live single and happy.

One of the biggest mistakes women make is putting their lives on hold while waiting for their Prince Charming. Don’t push the pause button on living your life because you are waiting for someone to create your happily ever after. Start living your happily ever after right now.It is impossible to live happily ever after and be a Bitter Betty at the same time. Now this is not to say that when living single you will never feel a pang of envy or longing. However, you can decide to revel in your bitterness, or you can decide to live happy.

It takes courage to truly live being single. Having to take trips by yourself, planning for the future, and not hold back on any of your goals. A question you should really ask yourself is won’t I be happier doing this alone then with an ex who made me unhappy? Won’t I be happier achieving my goals then living on pause?

One of the most important things to remember is living single DOES NOT mean living alone! I would never be who I am or where I am without my fierce lady tribe. My tribe is an equal mix or married and single. My married friends never judge me, they never make me feel like a third wheel, and most importantly they never make me feel damaged. Living your happily ever after is so much easier with a tribe who supports you.

Prior to being happily single, I could not list things that I was passionate about. Having to tell someone what my hobbies were? Impossible. I never took the time to figure all of that out. Pursue your passions. Begin doing things you have always wanted to. Put your baggage to rest, deal with whatever lingering issues you have with your ex or relationships in general deal with it now.

Lastly, living happily ever after single, does not mean that you do not eventually want to find someone. It means you cannot be consumed with meeting the perfect person and going through the motions of life until you do. Take advantage of the time you have by yourself and live your life to the fullest.

Check out my blog What I Have Learned Being Single. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/what-i-have-learned-being-single/

Until next time….

 

Single Stigma Misconceptions of Single Life

Single Isn’t a Dirty Word: Misconceptions of Single Life


Anyone who has been single for a while (especially those who are in their 30’s +) know there are some ridiculous misconceptions of single life out there. Granted I cannot speak for all singles, but I’m going to give it a shot. Single isn’t a dirty word, and no there is nothing wrong with singledom. So, let’s debunk these misconceptions of single life.

*All single people are not bitter/unhappy, and/or angry, nor are they hating on couples. Now don’t get me wrong every once in a while, I will look at a couple in love holding hands and get a twinge in my heart. However, I think that couples who have been together for a long time or have been married for a long time do the same. There is no ill will against all couples.

*Irresponsibility and just not being ready to settle down is another misconception that I personally find offensive. On my last trip to Washington DC, I actually had an Uber driver tell me when I am ready for responsibility and to settle down, I will find someone. Many single people actually have more responsibility because everything falls on their shoulders. There is no one to share the responsibility and help out.

*If you have hit a certain age or have been single for to long, you are just “to picky” air quotes, eye roll. Not lowering your standards in order to desperately be part of a “whole” does not make you to picky. My new answer is going to be: you’re right…I’m going to marry the next man that looks at me.

*Singles are at home lonely, depressed, and crying every night. Everyone is different, but I am so busy living that most times I wish I had alone time. I spend time with my family, nieces and nephew (who are AMAZING), my friends, and my baby (dog) Echo. When I am not doing that I am managing a large successful company or traveling the world.

*One of the largest misconceptions is that singles are broken or there is something wrong with them. We are not damaged goods. We are human. People who are where we are in life for many different reasons. I do think that many singles at sometime or another feel this way about themselves. It is just not true.

*Singles are having more sex. Unfortunately, this one is also not true. Not all single people are out there having wild crazy sex with anyone and everyone. (Some of us might wish this one were true).

*Lastly, be weary of the singles, they are competition and have their eye on your significant other. Sorry to burst your bubble, but we are not sitting on the sidelines trying to steal your partner. Believe me, you are more aware of our singleness then we are.

Most single people are not angry and unhappy. Taking the time to fall in love with yourself is a good thing, do it. The old adage hear no evil, see no evil, speak no evil is appropriate here. Do not listen to the negativity about single life. Do not look at any of the articles, posts, and everything else out there to make you feel damaged for being single. If you are not single and you find yourself saying things that might be hurtful to someone who is single don’t say it. The misconceptions of single life are outlandish and can be hurtful. Take it with a grain of salt and keep smiling.

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Until next time…

Nothing wrong with being single

Nothing Wrong With Being Single

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Nothing Wrong With Being Single

How very peculiar is it that in this day and age being single is such an outrage. A person is considered to be more “normal” and socially accepted if they are in a relationship or married, even if it is not a healthy relationship. I created this blog because I love being single, The freedom that comes with being single is unparalleled. Never in my life have I been happier then I am in this moment. I truly believe that one has to take time to get to know themselves, find out who they truly are, and what it is that they want in life before they can ever be in a happy healthy relationship. The only thing I am committed to right now is bettering myself. There is nothing wrong with being single.
I’ve been going to the same nail salon for many years. They have seen me with an ex-boyfriend for many years. However, now that I have been single for over a year they ask me continuously, do you have a boyfriend? Are you looking? Because I have taken no interest in dating the gentleman doing my nails today actually asked me are you looking for a girlfriend? Are you gay? Isn’t it funny that because I am a woman in my mid 30’s who is not looking for relationship the automatic assumption is that either I am gay or there is something wrong with me? It is beyond people’s comprehension that a woman can just actually be happy being single.
I created a Twitter account to promote my blog along with a page on Facebook, Fabulously Single. I have received private messages on both from men attempting to engage me in conversation beyond the scope of my blog and beyond the scope of friendship. Isn’t it funny that my blog is mainly about being single and the journey to find myself, yet people continue to try to contact me to either get with me or start a relationship?
The reason I find this funny it’s because I’m obviously happy where I am and in no way, shape, or form interested in a relationship or hooking up with strangers. It makes me feel that these men think I am either not truly happy being single or would like nothing more than to find a relationship. That single women will drop what they are doing at even the hint of opportunity for a relationship or random sex. Well sorry to disappoint you guys, I am happy being single, and I can pleasure myself without your help.
Now this is a new notion for me, as I was a serial dater for a very long time. I hated being single. Being single was embarrassing to me. A relationship made me feel validated. It took me a very long time to come to the realization that this was crap! I am a complete person, who does not need a relationship to validate me.
Until we can complete ourselves we can never truly be in a healthy relationship. Society trains us that we need to look for somebody else to complete us, I completely disagree. We cannot be anybody else’s complete happiness, just as nobody else can be our complete happiness. We need to learn to love ourselves, instead of the idea of others loving us. Being single does not mean broken, actively looking, gay, straight, or anything else. The stigma of being single is alive and kicking. It can get overwhelmingly annoying at times. Although people’s attitudes perplex me, I continue to find the humor in these situations. Being single doesn’t always mean being lonely, just as being in a relationship doesn’t always mean being happy. Nothing wrong with being single is something we must remind ourselves of.
I am single. Don’t pity me. I am single by choice. I am not lonely. I am done settling. I am done being a chameleon to be in a relationship. I am done dating shitty people. Now I have grown, I know what I want and what I deserve. I am on a journey to continue to find and create myself. When I am ready for a relationship I will not mind waiting for the right one. It is better to be single with standards than in a relationship settling for less. There is nothing wrong with being single.
Come check out Single isn’t a dirty word: misconceptions of single life. http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/single-isnt-a-dirty-word-misconceptions-of-single-life/

 

Until next time….