To Be a Miserable Troll or Not, That is the Question.
Here we are, groan, eye roll, Valentine’s Day and you are single. For the past couple of months we have been bombarded with the garish red and pink explosion of chocolates, flowers, cards, stuffed animals, silk boxers, and how can we forget the singing dancing gorillas. The unceasing jewelry commercials of love struck couples, most of whom are getting engaged, because after all it is Valentine’s Day. It seems like everyone we know is in a frenzy to make this the most romantic day of the year with their loved one. Valentine’s Day for single women can seem daunting. So the question is, what are you going to do?
There are three paths that you can choose from. As my sister affectionately calls it, you can chose to be a miserable troll. This path means that you will wallow in self-pity and be angry and nasty towards the day itself and towards those who are happy. You can chose the path of humor, being sarcastic and/or deflecting with jokes and memes. Lastly, you can embrace the day and be your own Valentine (with a little humor mixed in). I choose the last.
Yes, we know what the miserable troll will say. Valentine’s Day is a made up commercial holiday, created to make money. Everyone knows about the St. Valentine’s Day Massacre. We are also aware of the conflicting theories on Pagan festivals, and so on and so forth. Quoting things like “Cupid is a lying bastard”, “Valentine’s Day sucks”, etc. Believe me, I am not judging, for I was a miserable troll myself for years. However, let’s face the fact that being a miserable troll only hurts you and those around you. Chose a different path, take it from a former troll.
I truly believe that humor is what gets us through life. In any situation, humor as dark as it can be makes us laugh and can be a foundation for friendships. We all know the ghost of relationships past can be ugly. Do not forget that we have learned from that and become the better women that we are today because of it. So, let’s not dwell on it, let’s laugh about it.
Finally, in my humble opinion the greatest of all paths is the third. Try being your own Valentine. Start taking care of yourself the moment you wake up. Set your alarm five minutes early. Stretch, take a moment and clear your mind, and then get ready to embrace the day. Let’s start with don’t worry, be sexy. Put on your sexy bra and panties, do your hair and makeup, put on your favorite perfume, be sexy for you. Here is a list of other ways to embrace being your own Valentine:
- Schedule a massage, facial, pedicure, or Hell all three. (No excuses, you would have spent just as much if not more if you were not single)
- Send yourself a gift. I found a great one on Etsy. https://www.etsy.com/listing/487070688/i-love-you-super-deluxe?ref=shop_home_active_5
- Pick up your favorite flowers for your home or office. Do not worry about what others think. I bought flowers for myself. Sure a few people said something, but the beauty and smell of the flowers made my day better!
- Spend time with people you love, whether it is your single friends or your family. Here’s an example that I still have to fight my inner miserable troll. Last night at dinner, my sister asked me to join her, her husband, my nieces, and nephew for dinner at Wendy’s for bacon cheese burgers on Valentine’s Day. My inner miserable troll automatically went on the defensive. I answered shortly, no I’m good. My sister bringing in the humor responded with come on it’s not like we’re going to be making out at the table, followed by gross kissy faces. I realized at that moment that I was not an imposition because I am single, but family who they just wanted to spend time with.
- As happily and fabulously single, this one I do often. Take yourself out to dinner at a place you love, bring a good book, put your phone down, and enjoy. (Odds are, you might have a hard time getting into a restaurant on Valentine’s Day, no worries get take out)
- Now, I realize that this is a huge commitment, but I promise the return is worth it. If you do not already have one, and you are fully capable of taking care of one, go adopt a dog! Yes I know it sounds crazy, but you will never know such an unadulterated love, companionship, and bond that you will with your dog. If you can’t commit to owning a dog, go volunteer at a local shelter. You’re not the only one alone on Valentine’s Day!
The list of things you can do being single on Valentine’s Day is endless. Remember, you are not alone. You are worth loving. Step out of your own gloom and do something for someone else who is having a hard time on Valentine’s Day. Do you have a family member or friend who is widowed or divorced? Send them flowers and get joy out of brightening someone else’s day. Valentine’s Day for single women does not need to be feared or mourned. After all if we love ourselves, why shouldn’t we celebrate ourselves?
Until next time…