What I learned From My Last Breakup

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What I learned From My Last Breakup








I had been single for quite a while until recently. In that time I had learned who I am, what I want, and most importantly to love myself. That was a game changer. I was comfortable being single. Having taken the time to learn those things about myself, is what actually allowed me to break off the relationship.

I just recently ended a six week relationship. There were a number of red flags during our brief time together. I was getting a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I probably should have ended things even sooner, but the fact that I did end it as soon as I did was a total win for me.

Where in the past I would ignore these red flags and gut feelings, I didn’t look the other way this time. I ended the relationship. Granted he was extremely nice, had a decent job, and impressed my family. Yet, at the end of the day my stomach was in knots because something just wasn’t right.

So, I ended things. Here is what I learned from my breakup.

I have become to happy with my life to settle.

As much as I hate confrontation, I had to face the situation head on. It was important to be clear, firm, and kind. One of the important things that I learned was that I had to be clear that it was over, firm in not allowing him to get me to give him another chance, and kind so that I didn’t unnecessarily hurt him.

Listen to your gut. While others might say you are being picky, this is why you are alone, or you’re not giving someone a chance, don’t ignore your gut!

The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.

I am forever growing and continuously changing. I want to be defined by my accomplishments and not a relationship status.

For most of my life I have clung to relationships that were completely unhealthy. Thinking that I could “fix” the other person or if I loved them enough it would get better. Being a couple was better than being single, even if it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I learned this kind of thinking is just crazy!

Breaking up is not a reflection of my self worth.

Did Ariana Grande not nail it with her song Thank you, next? Even if every relationship isn’t the best it still teaches you something. Rather than staying angry, look back at the relationship with clear eyes and see what it taught you.

So, this is what I learned from my last breakup. What did you learn from yours? Comment below and let us know.

Check out Why it’s great to be single in your 30’s http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/30-reasons-why-your-30s-is-the-best-time-to-be-single/

Until next

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18 thoughts on “What I learned From My Last Breakup

  1. I’m always so grateful for the lessons I learned in a breakup. It’s so hard to make the decision but if you carry on you will be miserable. I now think to myself I didn’t settle for the last 25 years I’m not going to settle for less now. I’m still yet to be able to break things off quickly though – I like to give people a chance. As you said you definitely need to just listen to your instincts

    Hayley | hayleyxmartin

  2. Well done for ending it as soon as the red flags starting popping up. I got a red flag on a first date and stuck around for 6 months telling myself I was paranoid and wanting to give the benefit of the doubt – lesson learned though as it turned very toxic! Thank you for sharing this.

  3. My boyfriend jokingly said “Steak and eggs” for Thank you, next and now that’s all I hear… LOL.

    I think growing up we watch movies and books and ‘learn’ about relationships that way. We watched a generation have a sky high divorce rate and didn’t want to be our parents. I love that we have independent women coming out and breaking out of the mold for us.

  4. One of my friends keeps telling me that I’m to picky. That I don’t give guys a chance. That often makes me feel like I’m the problem. But I know what I want and I keep telling myself that forcing things would be worse than being single.

  5. Terrific! Great story. Thanks for sharing. It must feel great to realize and tangibly understand that you changed. You probably feel like you have more strength and power to make healthier relationship choices now. Awesome!

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