I had been single for quite a while until recently. In that time I had learned who I am, what I want, and most importantly to love myself. That was a game changer. I was comfortable being single. Having taken the time to learn those things about myself, is what actually allowed me to break off the relationship.
I just recently ended a six week relationship. There were a number of red flags during our brief time together. I was getting a nagging feeling in the pit of my stomach. I probably should have ended things even sooner, but the fact that I did end it as soon as I did was a total win for me.
Where in the past I would ignore these red flags and gut feelings, I didn’t look the other way this time. I ended the relationship. Granted he was extremely nice, had a decent job, and impressed my family. Yet, at the end of the day my stomach was in knots because something just wasn’t right.
So, I ended things. Here is what I learned from my breakup.
I have become to happy with my life to settle.
As much as I hate confrontation, I had to face the situation head on. It was important to be clear, firm, and kind. One of the important things that I learned was that I had to be clear that it was over, firm in not allowing him to get me to give him another chance, and kind so that I didn’t unnecessarily hurt him.
Listen to your gut. While others might say you are being picky, this is why you are alone, or you’re not giving someone a chance, don’t ignore your gut!
The first time someone shows you who they are, believe them.
I am forever growing and continuously changing. I want to be defined by my accomplishments and not a relationship status.
For most of my life I have clung to relationships that were completely unhealthy. Thinking that I could “fix” the other person or if I loved them enough it would get better. Being a couple was better than being single, even if it wasn’t a healthy relationship. I learned this kind of thinking is just crazy!
Breaking up is not a reflection of my self worth.
Did Ariana Grande not nail it with her song Thank you, next? Even if every relationship isn’t the best it still teaches you something. Rather than staying angry, look back at the relationship with clear eyes and see what it taught you.
Check out Why it’s great to be single in your 30’s http://www.fabulouslysingle.life/30-reasons-why-your-30s-is-the-best-time-to-be-single/
Until next time…..